


Those Nights (We'll Never Get To Heaven)

by so_real



Series: We'll Never Get To Heaven [1]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: 3RACHA and felix are there for like two seconds but i love them so i tagged them lol, Agent Seonghwa, Awkward Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, One Night Stands, Photographer Hongjoong, Slow Burn, ish?, side Yunsan, side woosang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 26,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26265781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/so_real/pseuds/so_real
Summary: '"You know," Red Hair says, more sober now. "I used to believe in all of that. I used to believe there was a heaven and that I would get to it one day, but now I know I never will.""No?" is all Seonghwa can ask, transfixed on Red Hair's eyes.Red Hair shakes his head softly. "You never get to heaven, especially not on a night like this."And Seonghwa nods like he has any idea what he's talking about.'ORThe one where they have a one night stand, Hongjoong is a photographer, Seonghwa is the agent of the model he's working with and neither of them knows how to communicate.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Series: We'll Never Get To Heaven [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1955755
Comments: 21
Kudos: 193





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> back by unpopular demand: me
> 
> hi hello this is smth ive been working on for the past year or so and that at this point ive finished more out of spite than anything because i got tired of seeing it in my wips folder
> 
> the first part was inspired by Those Nights by Bastille, the rest... wasn't
> 
> i hope you enjoy my dumb boyos, a warning: theyre very dumb
> 
> ALSO this fic is dedicated to my amazing beta bc it was her birthday yesterday and i kept pestering her ily youre the best

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: i have no idea how the fashion industry works

The moment Seonghwa steps into the club, he can tell it's one of those nights.

Those nights where San will find someone he knows, or someone to hook up with, and leave Seonghwa alone and holding on (although, for what, God only knows). These nights usually end with Seonghwa going home (on his own or with company, it doesn't matter) and waking up alone the morning after, head pounding and heart empty.

As if reading his mind, San lets out a little delighted cry and gets lost in the crowd, no doubt having found someone more interesting than Seonghwa. He doesn't mind, not particularly, he's quite used to San ditching him to go make out with someone on the floor. If anything, the professional part of him (the one that's not San's best friend, but rather his agent), lets out an annoyed sigh at the mediatic cover up he'll probably have to do with Yeosang and his PR team tomorrow (not that San is _that_ famous, but one is never too prudent).

The other part of him, though, the one that's San's friend before he is his agent, is happy that San gets to have fun and feel like any normal twenty something year old every once in a while. The world of fashion isn't a forgiving one, and San needs his outlets. Seonghwa is happy to let him suck face with a stranger for a while if that makes him forget about the new restrictions in his already restrictive diet.

He shoots San a quick text to remind him not to go home too late and makes his way to the bar. He doesn't plan on getting drunk, but a little alcohol always helps him get going when he's left on his own like this.

The bar is surprisingly packed for the early hour, and he finds himself pressed against a short man with hair a shade of red that should be offensive, but that somehow manages to look charmingly good on him. Seonghwa subtly gives him a once-over and, okay, Red Hair man is _pretty_. Like, ridiculously pretty. It usually takes Seonghwa a drink or two to start ogling anyone, but he thinks tonight might be the exception.

He's weighing the pros and cons of saying something to the man when he lets out a swear loud enough for Seonghwa to hear over the music. Seonghwa looks his way and finds him staring at his card with a betrayed expression. The bartender in front of him is giving him a sort of pitying look.

"I don't get why it won't work," Red Hair says with a pout.

"We get that sometimes," explains the bartender, sympathetic smile on his face. "Depending on the bank, it won't take it. Got any cash on you?"

Red Hair shakes his head, looking ready to fight the machine.

"Let me," Seonghwa doesn't remember making the conscious decision of speaking, much less to retrieve his card from his wallet and extend it to the bartender, but here he is, arm stretched out and probably looking like a fool.

Red Hair's cheeks gain a color that could rival his hair and he directs an affronted look at Seonghwa. "You don't have to," he says, politely, but clearly ashamed.

"I insist," Seonghwa presses. He tries to school his face into something that doesn't make him look like a creep, but rather someone who just wants to help (and maybe get Red Hair's number, but that's secondary).

Red Hair levels him with a scrutinizing gaze, and Seonghwa must be better than he thought at looking innocent, because he lets out a sigh and nods, turning to the bartender. "Fine," he grunts. Seonghwa smiles genially as the bartender takes his card and uses it to pay for Red Hair's order, and takes advantage of the situation to place his own order.

When he turns, happy with his drink, he half expects Red Hair to be gone, but he's still there, holding on to his beer awkwardly, and sort of lurking a couple of feet behind Seonghwa.

Seonghwa decides that this is his now or never moment, and takes a chance.

"Are you here on your own?" he asks before taking a sip of his drink, wincing when it's nearly not sweet enough.

Red Hair jumps a bit, likely not expecting to be addressed, and shakes his head. "My friends are here _somewhere,_ but apparently I wasn't good enough for them," he says, his lips pursing in a (ridiculously cute) frown.

Seonghwa tries not to laugh as he nods. "Hard same, my friend ditched me as soon as we came in."

Red Hair either lacks the manners not to laugh or is already drunk enough to forget them, because he throws his head back in a guffaw.

"God, we're both pathetic," he says before giggling. Seonghwa makes it a personal goal to pull at least another one of those from him.

He offers his drink in a toast. "To awful friends?" he posits.

Red Hair snorts and clinks his bottle against Seonghwa's glass. "To awful friends," he concedes before taking an admittedly long drag.

"Woah, take it easy," Seonghwa tells him. Red Hair simply shakes his head and steps closer to him.

"It's fine," he says in a confidential stage-whisper. "I came here to get wasted anyway."

Seonghwa laughs, a genuine one that turns breathless when Red Hair stumbles a bit and grabs Seonghwa's shoulder to steady himself.

"Well, I think you're doing a great job of it," Seonghwa comments. He wants to reach out and hold his waist but refrains from doing so. All in its due time. Red Hair nods and downs the rest of his beer. He reaches over to place the empty bottle on the bar and looks up at Seonghwa.

"I think I need some air, do you wanna go outside?" he asks, and his cheeks do indeed look a bit flushed.

"What about your friends?" Seonghwa asks, hopeful in all the wrong ways.

Red Hair rolls his eyes. "They'll find me if they want to. What about yours?"

"He's a big boy," Seonghwa replies all too quickly. The truth is, San is more of an overgrown baby than anything, but Seonghwa has more pressing matters in hand at the moment.

"Good," Red Hair grins at him, all teeth and gums, and Seonghwa isn't one for poetics, but if he were, he'd compare it to the sun, or something equally cheesy. "Outside, then?"

Seonghwa takes a look at his half-empty drink and makes the worst decision of the night, knocking it all back with a grimace. Definitely not sweet enough. "Let's go."

He doesn't know what he was expecting. Maybe for them to make out against the wall in the alley beside the club, or for Red Hair to make it clear that he doesn't want anything to do with him. What he definitely doesn't expect is for them to sit on the curb outside the club, shoulders pressed together to fend off the chill of the early July night, and spend what feels like hours just… talking.

It's strange and magical in a way only drunk conversations with strangers outside a club at 3am are. Red Hair has a lot of opinions about everything, it seems, and he's not afraid to voice them, face expressive and hands flying as he speaks. Seonghwa finds himself hanging on to every word, completely entranced by the way his plush lips form words, and the way his eyes appear to hold the universe in them.

They talk about everything and nothing, from music to clothes to their favorite candy as kids, Seonghwa feeling like his words and thoughts are being met at every turn. It’s an exhilarating feeling, like finding something you weren’t aware you were looking for until it’s right in front of you. Seonghwa thinks he could easily get used to this. He’s not sure the buzzing in his veins is due to the alcohol anymore.

At some point, Seonghwa notices a glint on Red Hair's tongue, and points it out.

"Oh, this?" he asks, sticking his tongue out and revealing a shiny stud. "Got it a few years ago. Teenage rebellion and all that."

That makes Seonghwa laugh. "I know exactly what you mean. I got a lip ring just to piss the hell out of my 'be a good boy or you won't go to heaven' dad. Of course, his prospects were ruined when I came out to him, but oh well."

"You know," Red Hair says, more sober now. "I used to believe in all of that. I used to believe there was a heaven and that I would get to it one day, but now I know I never will."

"No?" is all Seonghwa can ask, transfixed on Red Hair's eyes.

Red Hair shakes his head softly. "You never get to heaven, especially not on a night like this."

And Seonghwa nods like he has any idea what he's talking about.

He can't say he's surprised when Red Hair kisses him. A bit startled maybe, but definitely not surprised. They've been drifting closer all night, noses practically touching as they talked. It was inevitable, Seonghwa thinks. Everything led to this exact moment where Red Hair stops mid sentence and presses his lips to Seonghwa's like it's something he'd been meaning to do all night, but kept forgetting to. Seonghwa kisses him back without hesitation, softly at first, but with increased force as Red Hair makes a little displeased sound against his lips and pulls him closer by the front of his shirt, that piercing pressing against Seonghwa's tongue in a blissful drag of metal against skin.

Things only escalate from there, and before Seonghwa knows it, they're climbing the stairs to his flat, Red Hair's hands everywhere as he tries (and fails) to open the door.

"Wait," Seonghwa halts, suddenly, and turns to Red Hair, who immediately tries to kiss him again. "What's your- what's your name?" he manages to ask in between kisses. It has only occurred to him now that he never asked.

Red Hair separates from him for a moment, as if realizing too, and smiles sweetly at him. "Hongjoong," he says.

"Hongjoong," Seonghwa repeats, tasting out the syllables in his mouth. Hongjoong makes an appreciative sound. "I'm Seonghwa," he says before kissing him again and pulling him inside his flat.

Seonghwa doesn't believe in love at first sight. He doesn't believe in soulmates or any such thing. But he does believe in destiny, and he does believe in serendipity. And he believes that there is a reason Hongjoong is currently in his bed, knows this draw he's been feeling all night is something deeper than sheer physical attraction. Feels it in every sweet whine and gasped out moan that comes out of Hongjoong's perfect mouth, the connection, the _something more_ , and knows he could probably spend every night like this, speaking with this entrancing, beautiful man before dragging him to his bed and worshipping his body like he was made for it. And maybe, just maybe, he gets to wake up next to him in the morning.

Because isn't this what everyone is looking for anyway? A little bit of hope? Somebody to wake up with?

Maybe that's why his exhausted, half-drunk, fucked out brain makes him mutter a weak "Stay the night?" against Hongjoong's collarbones as they lay in a tangle of tired, satisfied limbs.

Hongjoong hums, carding a lazy hand through Seonghwa's hair. "What's in it for me?" he asks softly, but there's a hint of laughter in his voice. Seonghwa's heart does a dangerous leap in his chest.

"I'll make you breakfast in the morning," he promises stifling a yawn. He can feel sleep starting to pull him under, but he fights it in order to hear Hongjoong's reply.

"That sounds nice," Hongjoong mutters, and Seonghwa wonders if he's also close to falling asleep.

"It is nice," Seonghwa replies.

"Okay," Hongjoong seems to decide after a beat. Seonghwa tries to suffocate the hopeful flame that grows in his chest. "I'll let you woo me with your breakfast."

Seonghwa lets out a snort, kissing the soft skin of his shoulder. "Correct answer," he says, pulling another wonderful giggle from Hongjoong that he feels reverberate against him.

Seonghwa falls asleep to the soft sound of Hongjoong's breathing and his hand carding gently through his hair.

He really shouldn't be surprised when he wakes up to an empty bed, but it somehow hurts more than it's ever hurt before.

* * *

Life goes on, unsurprisingly.

Seonghwa allows himself to mope for about two days before Wooyoung barges into his flat and pulls him out for dinner with him and Yeosang. Between them, they manage to get him drunk enough to spill the entire encounter to them (well, maybe not all of it, Seonghwa prefers his friends out of the details of his sex life), both of them shaking their heads as Seonghwa waxes poetics about Hongjoong's smile.

"Hyung, it was a one night stand," Wooyoung says, a bit tactless, but that's his style.

"But it was more than that, Wooyoungie," he whines pathetically. "We just… _clicked_."

"How drunk were you?" Yeosang asks around a mouthful of chicken. "You've never been this lame about anyone leaving before."

"He said he'd stay," Seonghwa says softly. He remembers the gentle trace of Hongjoong's fingers in his hair and has to suppress a shiver. "I promised him breakfast."

Yeosang's eyes grow wide. "You really were going all out, weren't you?"

"I told you, he was different," Seonghwa sighs.

"He couldn't have been all that different if he left anyway," Wooyoung comments. Seonghwa notices he's not clinging to Yeosang like he usually would, and is thankful for it. He doesn't think he could stomach a healthy relationship right now.

"Thanks for reminding me," he says snidely.

"At your service," Wooyoung replies with a grin. "No, but seriously, you should stop worrying about that and start worrying about Sannie's thing next month. If he shows up with his neck full of hickeys again I'm quitting."

Seonghwa shakes his head. No letting San go clubbing the week before a shoot, that's a lesson he's learnt the hard way. "He won't, I promise."

"As if you'd ever quit," Yeosang rolls his eyes. "You love working with San."

"Correction: I love working with you. San is just a bonus," Wooyoung says with a smirk. Yeosang just shrugs, but Seonghwa can see the slight blush in his cheeks. Gross.

San was chosen to be the face of a new emerging fashion and beauty magazine a few weeks ago. Seonghwa had been looking to land him something as big as this for a long time, and couldn't agree fast enough with the magazine's representative when they said San would be perfect. It's an ambitious project: three different covers, each with its respective concept, and San gets to be in all of them plus the spread inside. It will surely give him a boost in his career. Seonghwa is sure the industry will eat him up after this, with those dimples and those shoulders, and his ability to pull off practically any concept you throw at him. He just hopes it doesn't kill off San's positive outlook on life. He guesses that's what he and Wooyoung and Yeosang are here for.

He decides to follow Wooyoung's advice, for once in his life, and buries himself in his work to avoid thinking about red hair and blinding smiles. The first shoot is on the 2nd of August at the magazine's own studios, and Seonghwa makes sure San remembers by making an appointment in his calendar with his email address.

It works… surprisingly well. Seonghwa works, and it's enough to fill the hole in his soul most of the time. He hangs out with Wooyoung and Yeosang, supervises San as he does a couple of shows, always declining when he's invited to the after party.

And he is okay. He really is.

He doesn't find himself losing track of his thoughts every time he sees a flash of someone with red hair anymore. Or stopping with a sweet halfway to his mouth as he remembers Hongjoong saying it was his favorite. Or shivering as he remembers how that damn tongue piercing felt against his skin. Yeosang was right, he was drunk and exhausted from work. No one can fall for someone in just one night, no matter how in tune the two of you appear to be. Seonghwa is just an idiot who has been single for too long and is so desperate for any sort of intimacy that he falls at the feet of the first person who is nice to him. Acting as though he’s going through a break-up over someone he knew for less than eight hours is ridiculous and pathetic.

So, he is okay. Or at least, he’s very good at convincing himself he is.

* * *

“Can you please tilt that light a bit to the right?” Hongjoong asks Jongho, who hurries to do as he’s told. Hongjoong smiles softly at the younger’s eagerness to do everything Hongjoong tells him. “Like this is perfect, Jongho. Come take a look.”

Jongho scurries back to where Hongjoong is standing beside his camera, crouching slightly to look through the objective. “Better profundity on the left?” he asks tentatively. Hongjoong beams at him proudly.

“You got it,” he tells him with a pat on his shoulder. Jongho straightens up with a small, shy smile. “Soon you’ll be better than me at this.”

Jongho lets out a little laugh, “Better watch out, hyung,” he says, pretending to square up. Hongjoong snorts and pushes him good-naturedly, squealing and wiggling away when Jongho makes a grab for him.

“Is everything ready?” a voice interrupts their little squabble before it even starts. Hongjoong looks up from the headlock Jongho managed to put him into and smiles genially at Eden, who is staring at them with an annoyed but fond look.

“All set, boss,” he mockingly salutes, laughing delightedly at the eye-roll it pulls from Eden. “When is our man getting here?”

“He should be here in twenty minutes,” Eden says, giving the set a quick look. Hongjoong secretly holds his breath as he waits for Eden to say anything about it, but he simply nods and turns to them again. Hongjoong feels something akin to satisfaction in his heart. “So better look like professionals, yeah?” he adds with a pointed look. Hongjoong shares a guilty look with Jongho and they both nod.

Yunho shows up a few minutes later with a rack full of clothes, Mingi struggling behind him with what must be a bag full of accessories. Hongjoong and Jongho help them get everything settled in between laughs and playful pushes before Eden scolds them again for being loud and they all make a tactical retreat to the couch in the back of the studio. Hongjoong ends up sandwiched between Jongho and Yunho, who excitedly tells them about his latest achievements in whatever video game he’s playing.

It's nearing twelve o'clock when the door to the studio opens and Eden walks in followed by a boyish looking man with white hair. They're talking animatedly, pretty dimples appearing on the man's cheeks, and Hongjoong already has a hundred different poses he wants him in.

Everyone on the couch stands up to greet their new guest as three more people walk through the door. Two more young men walk in side by side, one chatting animatedly as he swings what looks like a little crate and the other looking bored to death. Behind them trails a taller figure with blond hair that's focused on his phone.

Hongjoong stops dead on his tracks as Seonghwa looks up from his phone and his eyes scan the room for a second before locking with Hongjoong's. His eyes widen fractionally with recognition and Hongjoong barely has time to mutter a _gotta go_ before he's sprinting to the office.

He closes the door behind him, a litany of swear words coming out of his mouth as he leans against it, his heart hammering in his chest. This isn't happening to him. This can't be happening to him right now. He runs a hand through his hair, trying to take a deep breath when a knock on the door makes him jump with a squeal.

"Hyung?" Yunho's voice comes through the wood. "Is everything okay?"

Hongjoong would laugh at the question if he wasn't so close to breaking down crying. "Everything's peachy, Yun," he calls out, unconvincingly.

"It doesn't sound like it is," Yunho replies, and Hongjoong hates that he sounds so worried. "Wanna tell me about it? Can I come in?"

And Hongjoong really doesn't want to come out of this office ever again, but he figures the situation really can't get any worse than it is. He quietly opens the door enough for Yunho to slip through and pin him with a worried glance.

"I… may have a problem," is all Hongjoong says.

"Yeah, figured," Yunho says, flat. "What is it? Eden hyung wasn't happy."

"Fuck," Hongjoong blanches at that. "Okay, this is really awkward."

"What is?" Yunho asks, leaning against the wall.

"Remember a few weeks ago when Mingi decided it was a good idea to get his nose broken?" Hongjoong starts.

"You mean when Jongho accidentally punched him? Also it wasn't _broken_." Yunho says, like he doesn't know exactly what he's talking about. He was the one that called Hongjoong from the hospital saying they wouldn't clear them unless someone sober came to pick them up, after all.

"Whatever. Remember that, when you called, I said I was with someone?" Hongjoong continues, suppressing a shiver. He has tried to think about that night as little as possible as he can for the past four weeks.

"That you were getting some, yeah," Yunho says with a smirk. Hongjoong punches him without strength.

"Fuck off," he hisses. "But yes, I was getting some, and he's that someone I was with."

Yunho's eyes grow comically wide. "You fucked San?!"

It takes Hongjoong a second to register the question. "What- No! Seonghwa! I meant Seonghwa!"

Yunho's face morphs from shock to delight. "You fucked your model's agent, how crazy is that?"

"He's his _agent_?" Hongjoong asks, horrified. Yunho nods, smiling so big his face must hurt.

"What, you didn't speak enough to learn that?" he asks, teasingly. Hongjoong wants to pull his own hair out. How could Yunho know.

"On the contrary, we spoke quite a lot. It's just our jobs never came up," he says, remembering with a pang how comfortable conversation with Seonghwa had been. How well they had seemed to understand each other. How natural it had been to bicker with him over candy.

"Cute, but you gotta get over yourself," Yunho reminds him, and his smile is a tad sweeter now. "There's a photoshoot to be done, and I don't think Eden hyung will be happy if we tell him Jongho has to do it."

"Right, fuck, yeah," Hongjoong breathes, trying to steady himself. He runs a hand through his hair again, which must be a mess by now.

"C'mon, hyung, it was a one night stand," Yunho says cheerfully. "It will just be a bit awkward, but you can keep it professional, right? No need to interact with him unless it's strictly necessary."

 _It was more than a one night stand_ , Hongjoong wants to say, but how to explain to Yunho that feeling of instant connection, of just _belonging_ , without sounding like a madman? And how to explain that he lost all rights to claim that as soon as he stepped out of that bed?

"Yeah, I guess," he says instead, taking a deep breath to steel himself. He can do this. Just don't look in Seonghwa's direction and you'll forget he's here, he tells himself. Focus on doing your job and getting good shots of the model that Eden can use for his cover.

"That's the spirit!" Yunho claps him on the shoulder. "Now go out there and do your magic."

"Magic, yeah, right," Hongjoong repeats, as in a trance, and lets Yunho guide him out of the door. Outside, he's met with Eden's hard stare shooting daggers at him beside Jongho's infinitely softer one, asking if everything is okay with worried eyes. Hongjoong ignores them both and makes a beeline for his camera, checking settings that have been perfect for the past half hour and trying as hard as he can not to look in the direction of the changing rooms where San's team (and now Yunho and Mingi too) are busy getting him ready.

"Everything alright, hyung?" Jongho's soft voice pulls him out of his denial-induced trance. Hongjoong looks up from the crouch he's dropped himself into to find Jongho staring down at him with big, concerned eyes and the beginnings of a pout. He smiles a bit in spite of everything.

"It's okay, Jongho," he reassures him. "Just felt a bit ill, but I'm fine now."

Jongho doesn't seem to believe him, but he nods and drops himself on the floor, sitting cross-legged beside him, a silent but comforting figure. Hongjoong sits down too and they both wait in comfortable silence for San to be ready to start the shoot.

It's a simple set, just a white sheet for backdrop. The idea is to get a few close-ups to use for the cover and then some full body shots to include in the spread. If Hongjoong remembers correctly, the styling was also quite simple. San confirms the thought when he appears in Hongjoong's field of vision wearing simple jeans and a white muscle tee with what looks like a simple lace pattern on the back. The sleeveless shirt accentuates the shape of his shoulders and the slim cut of his waist, and Hongjoong knows he will definitely be able to work with that. His makeup is also simple, just highlighting his cheekbones and the slight pout of his lips. Hongjoong guesses one of the men on his team who aren't Seonghwa did it for him since neither Yunho nor Mingi know how to even apply eyeliner.

"Alrighty, let's do this," San says with a small smile. Hongjoong returns the smile weakly and nods.

"San-ah, be good and don't touch your hair, please!" a voice calls from behind them and Hongjoong turns in time to catch San sticking his tongue out at the dark haired man that came with him.

"I'm not a kid, Wooyoungie," he replies with a pout, and Hongjoong wants to point out that he very much looks like one right now.

"You sure behave like one," someone else beats him to it, and Hongjoong hates that he knows that voice. Hates that he remembers how it sounded as it whispered filthy words into his skin. Hates that it makes him tense all over as if anticipating something.

San only pouts more. "You're mean, hyung," he says petulantly, pulling a snort from Seonghwa. He turns to Hongjoong again and replaces the pout for a blinding, dimpled smile. "Hi, I don't think we've been introduced yet, I'm San."

Hongjoong nods his head in acknowledgement. "I'm Hongjoong, I'll be taking the pics," he says, waggling his camera in the air awkwardly and finding himself returning San's smile weakly in spite of himself.

"Nice! Where should we start, Hongjoong?" San asks, eagerly. It's a refreshing change from most models Hongjoong has worked with, who are usually detached and cold. San's warm eyes and contagious smile are something he's not used to.

"Just get in front of the camera and we'll work from there," Hongjoong replies easily, some of the tension leaving his body. This is what he's come to do, what he's good at, and San seems like he'll make his job easy. Better get this over with and he can run away from here as fast as possible.

San nods happily and steps on the set, his bare feet making no sound over the soft sheet. When he turns to the camera, his smile has been wiped out from his face and in its place there's a smouldering stare that Hongjoong can absolutely work with.

He directs San where he wants him, giving him instructions that the model makes his own in a way that brings out more of his hidden charisma. Hongjoong feels like crying from how easy it is to work with him. Every once in a while Eden will step up and make some petitions about certain angles or poses, but for the most part, he lets Hongjoong 'do his magic', as Yunho said.

They spend an hour on it, Wooyoung coming in halfway through to do some adjustments to San's hair and makeup, bickering with him the whole time. Hongjoong watches them with an amused smile as he, Eden, and Jongho quickly skim over the close-up shots he'd taken.

"I like this one," Eden comments, pointing at a picture on the laptop's screen that depicts the back of San's shoulders and his side profile. The sheer see-through material of his shirt reveals the line of his shoulder blades under an expanse of tan skin. Hongjoong doesn't want to brag, but it's a good shot.

"It's nice," Jongho agrees, and Hongjoong has to look at him to make sure he actually means it, because one can never be fully sure with Jongho's compliments. Eden nods, clapping Hongjoong on the shoulder. It appears that whatever anger he had in him at Hongjoong's little escapism trick has faded and now there's only satisfaction.

"Good job, Hongjoong," he praises, and Hongjoong preens. "Remember to keep all of them, Seonghwa asked whether we could send some to him for San's portfolio."

All the tension that had bled out of Hongjoong returns in full force at the mention of Seonghwa's name. He manages a strangled noise of confirmation that Eden seems to deem normal but that earns him a pointed glare from Jongho. _Later_ , he mouths at the youngest.

The rest of the shoot goes as smoothly as the first part has. San is lovely to work with; he never once complains about the poses Eden puts him in, and is receptive to no end. Hongjoong can almost forget the entire ordeal if he focuses on how well San follows his directions. Almost.

When they're done, San drops on the floor, his smile back on his face as he proclaims that he's exhausted. The other member of his team, the one whose name Hongjoong still doesn't know, brings him a juice box with that same bored expression, and San perks up with a little happy noise, sitting cross-legged in the middle of the set as he sips on his juice. Hongjoong is instantly reminded of a cat for some reason.

"You did well," Hongjoong tells him, looking through the pictures he's taken. He has to admit some of these are really good. "Do you want me to show you the shots so that you can choose the ones you want for your portfolio?"

San makes a dismissive movement of his hand, his nose scrunching. "Nah, just show them to Seonghwa hyung and he'll choose the ones he likes."

Hongjoong thinks of a nice and polite way to say he'd rather be buried alive than do that, but has to resign to an affirmative grunt when he doesn't find any. _No interaction unless it's necessary_. He guesses this files under the necessary category. He wrings a hand through his hair, letting out a sigh. This morning has probably taken ten years from his lifespan.

"You can do it," he mutters to himself. He takes a deep breath, letting his hair fall on his eyes again. "Just be professional, it can't be that bad."

"Did you say anything?" Jongho pops his head over his shoulder. Hongjoong jumps.

"Wha- No, I was talking to myself," he says, cheeks flaming.

"You're being so weird today, hyung," Jongho shakes his head at him in disapproval. Hongjoong pouts up at him. He doesn't need to be reprimanded, thank you very much.

"It's been a bad day," he complains. Jongho rolls his eyes at him and leaves without another word.

Hongjoong wants to call after him and scold him for being rude, but he doesn't find the energy within himself. He takes a look around the studio, everyone moving around him as he sits on the floor with his camera in his lap and his laptop by his side. San is talking animatedly with Wooyoung and the other member of his team, Yunho piping in from time to time, as he gets changed and scrubs makeup off his face. Jongho and Mingi are huddled together on the couch looking at something in the youngest's phone and laughing. Hongjoong lets out a sigh when he locates Eden speaking with his very own personal source of stress.

Seonghwa is just as beautiful under the warm afternoon light of the studio as he'd been under neon and soft moonlight. Perhaps more. Hongjoong notices this with a jolt, his chest feeling a little too tight for his liking. His hair isn't styled like it had been that night, falling gently over his eyes instead, and Hongjoong's fingers itch with the memory of soft strands under them. He feels pathetic, really. What kind of fool gets so infatuated over someone they've met once? Touch starved photographers with inopportune friends, apparently.

 _Go talk to him_ , he tells himself. It's not that he particularly wants to, but he needs to be professional, like Yunho said, and he really can't get away with not showing Seonghwa the pictures, not when Eden is here and he explicitly told Hongjoong to do so.

He forces himself to his feet, giving himself a pep talk as he slowly walks over to the two of them. Just show him the pictures, let him pick, and leave. No need to say anything else. Keep it strictly professional and don't break down in apologies the moment you lock eyes with him. It can't be that hard, right?

It is that hard.

As soon as he steps within hearing range he's instantly hit with the sound of Seonghwa's soft voice. Hongjoong had forgotten how _nice_ it is. He remembers thinking he could hear him speak forever, just that low, melodic sound and nothing else. It doesn't help that he definitely remembers how it sounded as he kissed promises into his skin. He definitely can't do this.

He's about to turn on his feet and run out the studio when Eden calls him.

"Hongjoong-ah! Come show us the pics!" he says, in a voice that sounds amicable, but his tone hides a finality to it that makes it clear Hongjoong can't say no.

He walks over, keeping his eyes trained on the floor, and stops as far away as he can. A quick glance up tells him Seonghwa isn't looking his way either. He doesn't know if that makes him relieved or sad.

"Hongjoong," Eden says, clapping his shoulder again. Hongjoong does his best not to flinch. "This is Park Seonghwa, San's agent."

Hongjoong waits to see what Seonghwa does. There's no way for Eden to know they know each other (quite intimately, if he may add), and he doesn't know how to assess the situation. He dares look up for a second, and regrets it instantly when he finds Seonghwa staring at him with a blank face and unreadable eyes.

He bows slightly, his face not showing a single emotion as he says "Nice to meet you, Hongjoong."

It feels like a punch to the gut. Hongjoong bows back, unable to find words when his lungs have closed up and he can barely breathe. He turns to Eden, who looks completely unaware of what's going in front of him, and hands him his laptop, feeling like a lost child asking their parent for help.

Eden refuses the laptop "No, no; it's your work, show us yourself," he says, and any other day, Hongjoong would melt under the praise, but today all he wants to do is go home and maybe cry a bit.

But he can't say no to Eden, so he wordlessly starts showing them the shots, feeling grateful when Eden starts talking about the ones he likes the most. Seonghwa doesn't say a word for a long time, just humming along to whatever Eden says. Hongjoong is also grateful for that, because he doesn't think he'd fare well hearing him talk again.

They reach the last picture, Hongjoong staring at it for entirely too long to avoid looking up and facing reality. Luckily for him, Eden is there to save his ass.

"So, if you saw anything you liked just tell us and we'll send it to you," he tells Seonghwa. Hongjoong doesn't look up to see his expression.

"I did see a few I liked, but maybe you could send them all, this way I can go over them again," he says, sounding entirely composed and professional. Hongjoong kind of hates him for not looking affected in the least. "If that's okay with you, of course."

Eden laughs heartily. "Absolutely! San is a delight, we're more than happy to help, right, Hongjoong?"

Hongjoong startles a bit at the mention of his name, glancing up with a lost look. "Uh? Y- yeah, sure," he tries, not entirely sure of what the question had been. Eden looks satisfied with his response, though, so he supposes it wasn't that far off from what he expected.

"You're lucky that it's our Hongjoong taking the pictures," Eden tells Seonghwa with a beaming smile. Hongjoong feels his shoulders come up to his ears in embarrassment. "He's a young promise, you'll see. In a few years his shots will be in every cover of the fashion industry."

"I don't doubt it," Seonghwa replies, not unkindly, but not looking at Hongjoong either. Hongjoong just really wants this all to be over so that he can go home and sleep for a week.

"Is this all?" he asks Eden, trying to sound firm but not rude. Eden is apparently too happy today, because he just dismisses him with a pat on his back and a nod. Hongjoong gives one last glance at Seonghwa, who is still very pointedly not looking at him, and turns on his heels, going to plug the laptop in Eden's office and grabbing his camera.

His eyes scan the room looking for Yunho, only to find him talking with San and Wooyoung in a corner. San says something, his dimples flashing, and Yunho lets out a guffaw, covering his mouth with his hand. His cheeks are dusted pink and Hongjoong can practically see the hearts floating around his head. Fantastic.

He lets out a sigh, locating Mingi a few meters away and walking over to him.

"You did well today, hyung," Mingi says immediately. Hongjoong knows for sure he hasn't even seen the pictures yet, but Mingi is the self appointed president of what he calls the _Hongjoong protection squad,_ which means he'll just shower Hongjoong with praise whenever he's not busy bullying him.

For once, the unnecessary praise doesn't bother Hongjoong. "Thanks. Hey, wanna grab something to eat?"

"Sure! Actually, I think Jongho's mom gave him enough kimchi to feed a small army, maybe you could come to ours and we'll invent something?" Mingi poses, searching for their youngest with his eyes. When he finds him, he makes a beckoning gesture, which has Jongho pocketing his phone and walking over to them. "Is it fine if we feed some of your mom's kimchi to Hongjoongie hyung?"

Jongho shrugs. "Why not? This way he can explain his little act."

"Jongho, you wound me," Hongjoong pouts in his direction, earning himself an eyeroll. "But fine, I'll take your exchange fees."

"Should we tell Yunho to come too, or…" Mingi starts, but trails off when he sees Yunho's current situation. "Nevermind."

That makes Hongjoong laugh a little. He's glad he's not the only one who has noticed. "Yeah, he's busy right now."

"Wow, I'd forgotten how _bad_ he is at flirting," Jongho comments. The three of them watch as Yunho makes eyes at San, his cheeks pink and his eyes bright. Hongjoong can practically see his nonexistent tail wagging in excitement.

"San doesn't seem to mind," Mingi points out, and Hongjoong notices that, effectively, San looks entirely charmed by Yunho's puppy-like personality.

"Gross," he mutters, making the other two laugh.

"Shall we get going, then?" Jongho asks after a bit. Both Mingi and Hongjoong make some sort of agreeing noise, and they say their goodbyes quickly, politely bowing to all of San's team. Hongjoong avoids Seonghwa's eyes, his stomach churning the entire time. Yunho gives them a small confused face and Hongjoong makes him a sign that means _I'll_ _tell you later_ _because you are clearly busy, text me when you're done_. He hopes Yunho understands.

"You kids leaving already?" Eden asks when they're almost at the door.

"Hyung, for the hundredth time, we're not kids," Mingi groans, exasperated.

Eden smiles indulgently at his assistant and Hongjoong thinks if Mingi weren't like a head taller than him, he'd ruffle his hair fondly. He's done that to Hongjoong before.

"Lunch at our place," Jongho explains, with a shrug. Eden nods, making a gesture to indicate he's letting them leave.

"Have fun, you three," he says. "And Mingi, don't forget to send that email I told you about earlier."

"Gotchu, boss," Mingi finger guns him on his way out.

"Bye, hyung," Hongjoong waves at him before closing the door behind him. "So," he says, turning to Mingi and Jongho with a sigh. "Where to start?"


	2. Chapter 2

"So, let me get this straight," Jongho says around a mouthful of kimchi jjigae. He swallows it, making a little appreciative noise, and points his spoon at Hongjoong. "You slept with him, promised to stay, yeeted away, and now you can't look at him in the eye?"

Hongjoong groans, shovelling more food into his mouth to avoid replying just yet. Explaining it hasn't been easier the second time around, stumbling over his words as Jongho and Mingi prepared lunch, both of them insisting Hongjoong stay out of cooking range (a completely ironic request coming from Mingi). Mingi is surprisingly empathic when it comes to these things, and although Jongho can be an angel sometimes, he also _loves_ judging people, which makes explaining things like this to him a bit of a challenge.

"That's kind of out of character, though," Mingi butts in. "You aren't really the one night stand type."

"I didn't plan on sleeping with him, it just sort of happened," Hongjoong explains, somewhat dejectedly. And it's true, when he'd suggested they go outside, he was drunk, but had no intention to get in Seonghwa's pants. Maybe to make out with him a bit, Hongjoong is not _blind_ , but definitely nothing more. But then they started talking, and Hongjoong felt that _pull_ , that attraction that went beyond the physical aspect. Seonghwa was so gentle, so soft-spoken, and he'd listened to Hongjoong like his were the only words that mattered.

And Hongjoong had been _weak_ to it, had found himself looking at Seonghwa's beautiful face and being unable to do anything but lean in and kiss him, throwing caution to the wind as he let his heart, instead of his head, do the thinking for once.

And then Seonghwa asked him to stay, and Hongjoong didn't want to at first, didn't want to make things complicated and let himself get attached, because he knows himself, and he knows just how fast he can fall for someone. But Seonghwa had sounded so hopeful, and he'd been so warm against Hongjoong… he'd found himself unable to deny him, and falling asleep actually looking forward to giving Seonghwa a chance.

Only to be woken up by his own ringtone, his phone buzzing in the pocket of his jeans on the floor. He'd jumped awake, Seonghwa's arm a dead weight on his abdomen, and gently pulled away from his embrace, making sure he didn't wake him as he located his phone and let himself out of the room.

He had a missed call from Yunho, and he sighed, getting ready to be scolded for not telling him he was leaving with someone as he pressed the call button.

Yunho picked up immediately. "Hyung," he said, and Hongjoong knew, just from the slur of that single word, that he was in trouble. "Thank God."

"What have you done this time?" Hongjoong hissed under his breath.

"Nothing! I didn't do anything! But we need you to pick us up," Yunho explained, continuing to slur his words. "They aren't letting us out unless someone sober picks us up."

Hongjoong cursed himself for being reliable. "Who are they?"

There was a beat of guilty silence. "The nurses."

"The nurs- Yunho, are you at the hospital?!" Hongjoong had to remind himself to keep a low tone of voice.

"We are, but we're all okay! Mingi's nose wasn't even broken!" he said cheerfully. Hongjoong almost didn't hear him, he was already halfway inside the room, gathering his things and hastily trying to wrestle his underwear on with only one hand. Seonghwa didn't even stir at the small commotion, he must be a heavy sleeper.

"What do you mean Mingi's nose isn't broken? I swear to God, Yunho, if this is a prank," he whispered furiously, not even bothering to button his shirt all the way up. He put his boots on the fastest he probably had in his entire life.

"Jongho accidentally punched him," Yunho muttered. Hongjoong let out a gentle curse as he let himself out of the apartment, making sure the door was locked behind himself.

"Okay, I don't even want to know," he decided, rushing down the stairs. "I'm on my way, but you're gonna have to give me half an hour, I'm not home."

"It's nearly five in the morning, where are you?" Yunho asked, sounding more concerned than he had any right to be in his situation.

"I met someone, okay?" Hongjoong replied, and it only occurred to him then that he didn't say anything to Seonghwa. He didn't leave a note. He didn't even have his phone number to text him. Hongjoong cursed, louder this time.

"You okay, hyung?" Yunho's voice was worried over the phone. Hongjoong banged his head slightly against the nearest lamppost and straightened himself. What was done was done, and currently he had three drunk friends waiting for him to pick them up. Seonghwa was a grown man, he'd get over it. Hongjoong would have to get over it too.

"I am, just text me the location," he bit off. "And you're all paying for the taxi."

"Thank you, hyung!"

"Yeah," he'd said, ending the call and calling a taxi.

"I just didn't think I'd see him again," he says now, looking at his friends with helpless eyes.

"Man, I feel lowkey sorry now," Mingi pouts. If Hongjoong were meaner, he'd tell him he should, but Hongjoong loves him, despite everything.

"It's okay, Mimi, it's probably for the best," he reassures him. "It wouldn't have worked out, I'm sure."

"You can't know that," Jongho points out. Hongjoong directs a sad glance at him, begging not to make matters worse. "What? All I'm saying is you knew him for what? Three hours? The majority of which you spent fucking, I'm sure. You never know if it would have worked out just from that, no matter how good or bad a dicking it was."

"I hate it when he speaks sensibly but with crude vocabulary," Hongjoong mutters to Mingi, who nods in agreement. "But Jongho, knowing my luck, it would have all been a disaster. Not that it's not already messy now."

"Yeah, no, it's absolutely not ideal at the moment, but who knows," Jongho shrugs. He has the ability to make everything look and sound like it's been blown out of proportion. "Plus, you could always fix things with him. He looks reasonable enough, I'm sure he'd understand Mingi is an idiot."

"Hey, now!" the aforementioned idiot complains. Hongjoong almost feels bad for him, but he did attempt to fistfight Jongho. That is peak idiot behavior in his book.

"I wouldn't even know how to start a conversation with him," he tells Jongho, who shakes his head at him. Hongjoong blows his fringe out of his eyes. "Plus, did you see how he acted like he didn't know me? He doesn't want anything to do with me."

"Maybe he's just as emotionally constipated as you," Jongho deadpans. Hongjoong glares at him, but can't find it in himself to contradict him.

"Then why should I try fixing things? We're clearly doomed to fail," he laments. Mingi reaches over to pat his head.

"Because, as I said, _you never know_ ," Jongho says, punctuating each word with a tap of his spoon to Hongjoong's forehead. Hongjoong pulls away with a wince. "Maybe he's just secretly pining after you and he's the man of your dreams."

"Maybe he's just scared to say anything because he thinks you're not interested," Mingi adds. His expression turns from hopeful to questioning, then. "Because you are interested, right?"

"I can't believe you're asking him whether he wants Seonghwa to fuck him into the mattress again or not," Jongho comments, easy as anything. Hongjoong chokes on air.

"It's not like that!" He sputters. He can feel his ears heat up with embarrassment.

"But you'd let him, given the chance, right?" Jongho continues.

Hongjoong stammers."I- uh-"

"Knew it," Jongho's smile is more smug than it has any right to be. He turns to Mingi, ignoring the fuming Hongjoong in between them. "Yes, he's interested, romantic, and not so romantic styles."

"That's… good to know," Mingi says, looking at Hongjoong with a glance that mixes worry and horror.

“What’s with the face! I’m not the weirdo here!” Hongjoong cries, pushing Mingi’s face away.

“No, but you’re the one pining after someone you’ve met once,” Mingi retorts from behind his fingers.

“Must have been some really good dick to have you like this,” Jongho adds. Hongjoong throws his spoon at him.

“I hate you both so much, next time you wind up at the hospital, you’d better call someone else, cause I sure as hell won’t come,” he threatens through the raging blush on his cheeks.

“Right, cause you’ll be busy getting dicked down,” Mingi counters, all worry gone from his eyes, which are now only filled with mirth.

“Oh, you’ll be coming alright,” Jongho laughs. Hongjoong thinks he’s going to pass out from how hot his cheeks feel.

“Why am I being shamed for my mistakes?”

“But was it really a mistake when you’re still dreaming about him?” Jongho asks.

“I’m not _dreaming_ about him!” Hongjoong practically yells. How can he be dreaming about Seonghwa when he can’t even look him in the face?

“Yeah, right.”

Hongjoong opens his mouth to rebut Mingi’s smug statement when his phone starts ringing. He grabs it, sending one last murdering glare in Mingi’s direction, and replies with a sigh when he sees the caller ID.

“Yun,” he says. Jongho’s face lights up, and he makes a gesture for Hongjoong to put the phone on speaker. Hongjoong does so with a huff.

“Hyung! Where are you? You guys left me alone,” Yunho’s pout is audible through the phone.

“I’m at Jongho and Mingi’s place and they’re holding me hostage,” Hongjoong replies. He ignores Jongho’s borderline evil laugh and Mingi’s offended gasp. “Please come rescue me.”

“We have kimchi jjigae!” Mingi yells beside Hongjoong’s ear.

“I already had food, but thank you, Mimi!” Yunho yells back. Hongjoong sometimes wishes he had other friends. “I’ll come to save Hongjoongie hyung, though!”

“The only saving he needs is from his own poor decision making,” Jongho deadpans. Hongjoong tries to kick him from under the table, but the younger boy dodges it.

“Oh, is this about Seonghwa?” Yunho asks, sounding way too cheerful.

“You know too?”

"Not in detail, but yes!" Yunho cheerfully replies. "Wait, Jjong, I'm like, ten minutes away by foot according to Google Maps, wanna bet I can make it in five?"

"Google Maps: ten minute walk. Yunho hyung, gay, caffeinated: five minute walk," Jongho recites. Yunho's laugh is nothing more than static through the phone with how loud it is. "Do try, we'll be waiting for you."

"That is if they haven't killed me first," Hongjoong pipes in. Jongho rolls his eyes at him.

"I hope they don't, I wanna hear the full story!" Yunho demands. Hongjoong lets his head fall on the table with a loud bang, dreading having to retell the entire thing again.

"I hate everything," he mumbles against the wood. He feels a big hand on his head and he knows Mingi is patting him again, going for reassuring but practically falling into patronizing.

"It can't be that bad," Yunho says. "Hey, I'm hanging up, start a counter or something, I really wanna see if I can beat Google."

And just like that the line goes silent. The hand on his hair disappears, Hongjoong assumes to actually set a counter on Mingi's phone, but he refuses to look up. He quite likes this new state he's in, in which he's actively trying to become one with the table to avoid any further humiliation.

"Do you think he'll make it?" Mingi asks, his voice amused.

"It would be really funny if he did," Jongho tells him. Hongjoong is thankful that they seem to have dropped the Seonghwa issue for the moment.

Shortly after (he doesn't know if it's exactly five minutes later or not), the buzzer rings, signalling them Yunho is here. Jongho stands up to ring him in, and some two minutes later Yunho is triumphantly coming inside the apartment.

"How long did it take me?" is the first thing he asks, sounding slightly breathless.

"Six minutes and forty-two seconds," Mingi informs him.

"Damnit!" Yunho exclaims, dropping on the chair opposite of Hongjoong's. "I really thought I did it in five."

"Did you run, though? You know it only counts if you don't run," Jongho reminds him. Hongjoong hears the sound of a glass being placed on the table.

"Of course I didn't! I power walked."

"With how long your legs are, that almost counts as running," Jongho reasons, his chair scraping the floor when he sits down again.

"That's tall-shaming!" Yunho accuses him. The glass is set on the table again. "Is Hongjoongie hyung dead?"

"I think he's just trying to become part of the furniture," Mingi replies, poking Hongjoong's cheek. Hongjoong resists the urge to slap his hand away and stays very still.

"How's that working out for you so far, hyung?" Yunho asks, and Hongjoong can _see_ his annoying smirk even with his eyes screwed shut.

"I refuse to speak to any of you," he bites out.

"And yet you just did!" Jongho cheekily points out. Hongjoong aims another blind kick at him and hits the leg of the table instead, hissing when his toes make contact with it rather forcefully.

"Fuck off."

"You just did it again!"

"I'm going to smother you in your sleep," he threatens. Jongho's laugh is just as infuriating as the rest of him.

"I like how you know that's the only way you could actually stand a chance against me," he proclaims proudly. Hongjoong just _knows_ he's flexing. Stupid buff baby.

"I'm taking that chance to silence you once and for all," he assures him.

"Cute," Jongho says. Hongjoong hates him so much.

"Okay, but tell us about Seonghwa," Yunho tries to redirect the conversation in the one direction Hongjoong doesn't want it to go, nudging Hongjoong's foot with one of his under the table.

"Don't wanna," he grunts.

"Aw, c'mon, hyung! This is fresh gossip, you can't keep it from me," Yunho whines. He sounds like a puppy when he does that.

"How about you tell us about San first, and then maybe I'll consider telling you something?" he poses in a desperate attempt to draw attention somewhere that isn't his pathetic love life.

"Owo," Mingi says, and Hongjoong knows he's hit his target.

"You did not just say that out loud, you fucking furry," Jongho accuses him, sounding disgusted.

"I'm not a furry!"

"Like hell you aren't!"

"You can't prove it!"

Hongjoong lifts his head amongst the chaos of the two flatmates arguing and makes eye contact with Yunho, who raises a worried eyebrow at him. _Are you actually okay?_ says the eyebrow. Hongjoong doesn't know if he has the answer to that, so he shrugs. Yunho tilts his head, then. _Wanna go home?_ Hongjoong thinks it over for a second before he makes a little ambiguous gesture with his hand. _In a bit_. Yunho nods, smile returning to his face, and settles his chin on his hand to watch the ridiculous shouting match in front of them with a fond expression.

"... being accused of being something I'm not just because some communities have appropriated certain forms of speech!" Mingi practically hollers, his hands flying up in frustration.

"Those are mighty big words for someone who just said _owo_ out loud unironically," Jongho taunts back.

"My literacy and stupidity aren't mutually exclusive!" replies Mingi, and Hongjoong has to admit he has a point there. For someone as smart as he is, Mingi surely acts like an idiot most of the time.

"No one is doubting your nerd ass, Mimi," Yunho cuts in before they can get to hands.

Mingi makes a _humph_ noise and crosses his arms on his chest, clearly done with the conversation. "This ass is also sensitive, so y'all better have more respect."

"Ugh, fine, sorry, you big baby," Jongho apologizes. "You're not a furry, you're just dumb."

"Damn right."

That makes Hongjoong let out a laugh, which he hurries to hide behind his hands. It's too late, though, and the heads of everyone in the table turn to him again, like cats locating a new prey. Hongjoong feels himself balk under the three laser stares.

"Don't think we forgot about you, hyung," Jongho says, sickeningly sweet. Hongjoong is glad that his friends are inherently good people, because he's terrified of them sometimes.

"Yeah, you still have some explaining to do," Yunho adds, his smirk stretching dangerously.

"I said I didn't wanna," Hongjoong whines, drawing his knees up to his chest. "Jongho can tell you, I don't wanna think about it anymore."

Jongho latches onto the opportunity way too gladly, and Hongjoong immediately regrets having given him that power. "Basically hyung wants Seonghwa to fuck him senseless again but he's too cowardly to ask."

Hongjoong chokes on his own spit, hands coming to brace himself on the table. "That was _not_ the comeout!"

"Wasn’t it?" Jongho asks, looking at him with big eyes that could be innocent if they didn't belong to Hongjoong's wretched child of a friend.

" _No_!"

"I understood the same thing," Mingi pipes in, and Hongjoong turns his glare to him.

"It seems reasonable enough," Yunho agrees, much to Hongjoong's chagrin.

"No, it doesn't, because it's not what's going on!" Hongjoong exclaims, exasperated. At least it's not the entirety of what's going on, but he still hasn't found a way to tell his friends that yes, the sex was good, but Hongjoong had really looked forward to waking up next to Seonghwa also, and to having breakfast with him amid awkward but sweet smiles, and maybe exchanging numbers, and seeing him again, and talking for hours when they were sober and had agreed to meet instead of drunk and having met on accident, and maybe stop him mid-sentence just because he'd feel like kissing him again.

That's what is actually going on, but there's no way he can tell them that, because it's so unlike Hongjoong to feel like this about someone he's barely even met that even Hongjoong himself is afraid of the size and force of the emotions he's feeling.

"Okay, okay, don't eat us," Jongho placates, looking genuinely worried for the first time. All it took was Hongjoong going berserk on them.

"Can we just drop it?" he asks, feeling so tired all of a sudden. "I'll figure it out, I just wanna forget about it for a while."

Three pairs of eyes look at him with varying degrees of worry, and Hongjoong just wants to go to sleep and find out that everything has been a twisted dream when he wakes up.

"Okay," says Yunho, gently. "Overwatch, anyone?"

"Hell yeah, Jjongie bring something to drink!" Mingi orders, already getting up.

Yes, that's what they need. Video games and a beer, and not talking about Hongjoong's pathetic excuse for a love life.

* * *

Seonghwa deftly avoids Wooyoung's not-subtle-at-all meaningful glance as they step into the location of today's shoot. It's been three days since the first encounter with Hongjoong, and his friends have been annoying to no end about it.

"Talk to him," Wooyoung says in his ear when San skips happily to talk to Yunho. Seonghwa startles at the sudden closeness, and turns to glare at Wooyoung, who stops tiptoeing and falls back on his heels with a grin.

"Don't you have a boyfriend to go pester?" he says instead of addressing the actual topic.

Wooyoung's grin turns downright evil. "I can do that every day, you're novelty."

"Then, don't you have a San to go put makeup on?" he pushes, both the topic and Wooyoung.

"Don't think you'll get rid of me so easily," he threatens, making an _I’m watching you_ gesture between his eyes and Seonghwa. "Talk to him," he says again before walking over to where San is all but making heart eyes at Yunho, who is in turn looking at him like San hung up the stars.

That first day, Yunho had come with them for lunch, chatting away with all of them, San practically sitting on his lap, and Seonghwa has to admit that he quite enjoyed Yunho's puppy-like personality and bright eyes, and that he liked him way better than any of the other people San has gotten his eyes on before.

San and he had exchanged numbers, and Seonghwa is sure he and Yunho have been texting non-stop these past three days. Seonghwa is happy for San, he really is, but there's a small, dark part of him that can't help but feel slightly jealous as his eyes find a head of red hair against his will.

Hongjoong is beautiful.

Seonghwa knew that, intrinsically, because he has eyes, and he wasn't even half drunk that first night. But it's one thing to find someone attractive under the dim lights of a club, and another to look at them when they're clearly stressed and in need for sleep and think that they're still more beautiful than one knows how to deal with.

This is what Seonghwa is going through as he watches Hongjoong argue over something with Eden, and he can't help but notice the dark bags under his eyes and the deep-set frown of his eyebrows, which make Seonghwa's most basic instincts want to reach over and do something to ease that distress.

But he forfeited that right when he decided to act like he didn't remember Hongjoong in a bout of panic that first day. Not his smartest movement, he'll admit, but he also doesn't think he can be blamed when Hongjoong had suddenly been there, looking so soft with his ruffled hair and faded jeans, talking nicely to San and being far more talented than a person that attractive should have any right to be (Seonghwa might have a slight bias, but those pictures were _good_ , he's been looking at them these past three days, and they're some of the best pictures anyone has ever taken of San), and he hadn't known how to react.

So he panicked, retreated into himself and put on a polite mask of disinterest, even when every fiber in his body was yelling at him to go talk to Hongjoong, to tell him that he looked nice, to ask for his number and whether he'd still be interested in that breakfast. But then he'd remembered it was Hongjoong who left in the first place, leaving Seonghwa alone in his bed after he'd promised to stay. Not that a promise made in those circumstances holds much value, but Seonghwa had still believed him. Or at least he had wanted to, because he'd hoped Hongjoong was feeling about them the same way Seonghwa was.

Well, he clearly had been not.

So Seonghwa decided to make things easy for both of them, and to spare them (most of) the awkwardness, and pretend he didn't know Hongjoong when Eden introduced them.

There had been something in Hongjoong's eyes, a tinge of fear and regret (over what? Leaving? Sleeping with Seonghwa altogether?), and Seonghwa hadn't been able to look directly at them for fear of what his own face might betray. Because no matter how many times he tells himself to resent Hongjoong for what he did, he just can't.

It was like seeing him again flipped a switch inside Seonghwa's brain, and ever since all the efforts he went through to convince himself that it didn't matter, that Hongjoong was just another asshole, that he'd imagined that connection, had flown out the window, and he was left with just the memory of Hongjoong's smile and how it felt pressed against his lips.

He looks at him now, the way he runs a hand through his red hair as he talks to Jongho, that same smile easy on his perfect lips when the younger photographer says something, and then he's throwing his head back in laughter, and he laughs with his whole body, carefree and wonderful, and Seonghwa can't help but feel the gravitational pull of that laugh in his stomach.

He wants to be there, he wants to be the one making Hongjoong laugh, smile, wants Hongjoong to look at him again with those eyes that hold all the galaxies in them. But instead he stands right where he is, feet planted to the ground like they've grown roots, and watches from a distance, hoping not to come across as too much a stalker.

Today's shoot is ambitious, several fits in a privileged set, an indoor garden bustling with colors and scents. Eden told him he wants to use the flowers to their favor, playing with them as props to give more life to the shoot, and Seonghwa knows San will have a field day with it.

Yunho and Wooyoung are already bumbling around him, getting him ready in the first outfit. It's something simple but rather effective, a colorful, loose shirt paired with washed, light blue jeans and plain shoes. Wooyoung has done something artful with his hair, making it fall softly on his eyes like a cloud, his makeup is light and simple, and several accessories line his neck and wrists. San is glowing with happiness, his laugh carrying through the entire garden, and Seonghwa feels a wave of fondness. At least one of them is having fun.

"Long day ahead, today," a voice says beside him, and Seonghwa turns to see Eden smiling at him, Mingi's head peeking not-so-subtly from behind his shoulder.

"Yeah, San is really excited about it," Seonghwa replies amiably, and his smile isn't as forced as he thought it would be.

Eden grins. "He's a good boy," he tells him, and Seonghwa nods. "You don't see many models that excited about work."

"San is just…" Seonghwa trails off, his eyes following his best friend as he makes his way over to the photographers and starts chatting animatedly with them. Hongjoong smiles easily at him, and Jongho looks entirely endeared, like most people do around San. "He just has this bright outlook on life, you know?"

"I hope he keeps it," Eden says, and Seonghwa nods again.

"We all do."

Eden leaves him after that, going to monitorize the shoot, giving orders when he wants something specific, but otherwise just letting Hongjoong direct, like he'd done that first day. Watching Hongjoong work is entrancing, Seonghwa thinks. He's unable to keep his eyes off him, fascinated by the way he tilts his camera, the way he turns his body to get the perfect shot, the way he so very nicely tells San how to pose, what to do.

"So," a voice breaks him out of his reverie, and he starts, turning and finding Mingi staring at him with a sly smirk. Seonghwa tilts his head at him curiously, not entirely sure if they've ever interacted before.

"Yes?"

Mingi's eyes follow the path of Seonghwa's glance, landing on a certain red haired photographer. Seonghwa tries to school his face into something innocent, not entirely sure of what Mingi is trying to say.

"He's a bit stubborn but he's not a bad person, you know?" Mingi says, and Seonghwa frowns slightly at him.

"I'm sorry?" he asks, confused as to why exactly he's being given this information.

"Hongjoong," Mingi clarifies, and Seonghwa feels a spike of fear in his chest. “I don’t know what you think about him, but he’s one of the best people I know.”

Seonghwa looks at him for a long moment, trying to assess the situation. What is Mingi implying? Does he know about him and Hongjoong? Did he realize Seonghwa was staring at Hongjoong with barely disguised longing in his eyes? And what does he think Seonghwa thinks about him?

“I- I’m sure of that,” he says, playing it safe. Mingi continues smiling knowingly. He knows, he _has_ to know. There's no way he would be looking at Seonghwa like that if he didn't know.

"So you should stop giving him eyes and talk to him," Mingi tells him, nonchalantly. Seonghwa almost chokes on air.

"What?" he demands, wincing when his voice comes out squeaky. Mingi raises his eyebrows at him.

"I know it's not my place to say this, but he's been moping around because of you, and I really don't enjoy seeing my friends like that," he explains, sickeningly sweet. "I don't know what you think he did, but ignoring him like that was a shitty move."

Seonghwa gawks at him, speechless. Hongjoong? Miserable because of Seonghwa? When it was him who abandoned Seonghwa in the first place? Something doesn't add up here. Seonghwa will admit to ignoring him not being the nicest move out there, but neither is leaving someone without even a note when you promised you would stay with them. And maybe Seonghwa is childish, and maybe he's blowing all of this out of proportion and overreacting, but he's tired of having his heart bruised, which is why he never gives it to anyone anymore, and Hongjoong _promised_.

"I… I don't know what else to do," he mutters, casting his eyes to the floor. Maybe someone braver would, but Seonghwa is clueless and afraid.

Mingi's voice is a lot softer when he says, "Talk to him. He won't make it easy for you because he's one stubborn idiot, but it's what he needs."

Seonghwa stares at his shoes some more and then raises his eyes, immediately finding a head of red hair. Hongjoong is huddled together with Eden and Jongho in front of his laptop, pointing at pictures and discussing them. His hands are small and delicate and the nail of his left pinky is covered in red nail polish. Everything about him is so bright and vibrant and colorful, and Seonghwa feels attracted to him like a punch to the gut.

"I wouldn't even know how to begin," he tells Mingi in a small voice. The other man shakes his head exasperatedly.

"What if I get you an opening?" he asks, and Seonghwa turns his head to look at him.

"How?"

Mingi sighs. "We're having drinks on Saturday night," he explains, and Seonghwa supposes _we_ means Hongjoong, Yunho, Jongho and him. "What if I told Yunho to invite San? He'll be too shy to, so I'll tell him to invite all of you guys, which he will do in an instant." He grins, clearly pleased with his plan. "There's your chance."

"I-" Seonghwa stutters, considering it. "Why are you doing this?"

Mingi simply shrugs, grin making his eyes disappear into two half-moons. "I like meddling," he says, and then his grin disappears, replaced by something more serious. "And I hate seeing my friends sad over stupid shit. Right now, I don't know if you're the correct answer, but you're the one Hongjoong wants, so I'm going to help you guys figure it out. But you're on thin ice."

Seonghwa gulps, nodding very slowly and trying not to cower under Mingi's stare. "I-I'll try my best."

Mingi smiles again. "Great!" He claps his hands once, satisfied. "I'll leave you to enjoy the view, then."

And he leaves with a pat to Seonghwa's shoulder. It takes Seonghwa a second to realize what he meant, and when he does, he blushes from head to toe. He sees Wooyoung intercepting Mingi as he walks away, and suddenly fears for his life. Nothing good can come out of this interaction.

Mingi leaves shortly after, finding Yunho and taking him aside. They have a short but agitated talk that ends with Yunho's ears burning a deep red and Mingi's smile finding Seonghwa across the garden. Seonghwa gulps. Nothing good, indeed.

The shoot proceeds normally after that, and Seonghwa tells Eden to just send him the entire thing again instead of having to go through the painstaking process of watching Hongjoong go through his pictures and pretend that he's looking at said pictures and not at the person who took them. Eden agrees happily, and transmits the message to Hongjoong, who nods and seems to deflate in relief.

Seonghwa is just about to say something when a force crashes against him, and he barely has enough time to brace himself before San is talking a mile a minute in his ear.

"SeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwa, Yunho just invited us out with them on Saturday, Wooyoungie and Yeosangie already said they are going, please say we can go, please say we can go, plea-"

"Sannie," Seonghwa manages to butt in, and San's chatter ceases, but he continues to look up at Seonghwa with pleading eyes. Even if Seonghwa didn't already know about it, he'd be unable to say no to that face. "Of course we can go."

San lets out a delighted squeak and hugs him before running off, in no doubt to inform Yunho of the news. Seonghwa sighs. San's too cute for his own good, but it's always comforting, seeing him this happy. It means everything is okay.

Eden dismisses them sometime after, and Wooyoung falls into step with him as they walk towards the car.

"So."

Seonghwa refuses to look at him. "I'm not talking to you."

"Why? Are you afraid I might say something that's true?" Wooyoung asks, cheekily. Seonghwa ignores him.

"Yeosang!" he calls instead. The brown-haired man lifts his eyes from his phone where he is walking a couple of steps behind them. "Tell your worse half to stop pestering me."

"You're assuming he listens to me," Yeosang says, impassive. Wooyoung lets out a giggle and blows him a kiss, to which Yeosang replies by rolling his eyes.

Seonghwa groans. "I hate all of you."

"Even me?" San asks, appearing on his other side and pouting up at him. Seonghwa sighs.

"Except you, Sannie," he says, and San beams up at him, linking their arms together.

Seonghwa lets him guide them the rest of the way, and wonders how the hell will he manage to survive Saturday.

* * *

Hongjoong takes one look at their usual booth and turns on his heels.

Before he has time to run out of the bar, Mingi seizes him by the waist and turns him around, ignoring his protests.

"Stop being a kid and face him," he grinds in Hongjoong's ear, and Hongjoong tries to bite one of his arms without success.

"I'd rather drink bleach," Hongjoong bites out. Mingi continues carrying him to the booth, and he sinks his nails on his arm before the occupants of it (well, one of them) can see him in this ridiculous situation.

"Why are you so dramatic?" Mingi hisses, but lets him go. He puts an arm around his shoulders, though, making sure he won't run away.

"You give me no choice," he mutters back, and flinches when San spots them and lets out a _hey!_ and waves a hand in their direction.

The heads of everyone else sitting at the booth turn to them, and Hongjoong tries not to flinch when he notices just how nice Seonghwa's hair looks under the dim lights of the bar. It’s dangerously similar to how he’d looked that first night, and Hongjoong doesn’t want to delve into that image for too long.

His smile looks forced when he greets them, and Hongjoong's doesn't miss the way his eyes never quite meet Hongjoong's when he looks in his direction. He's almost thankful for that, he doesn't think he'd be able to hold his gaze right now.

"You guys are early," Yunho says, sitting beside San in the booth. San immediately gets into his space, throwing his arms around him and resting his chin on his shoulder, and Hongjoong doesn't miss the way Yunho's ears grow red.

"We didn't wanna get lost," Wooyoung explains from San's other side. Yeosang is sitting beside him, although he looks completely uninterested in the conversation, and Seonghwa sits opposite Yeosang, looking at San's interaction with Yunho with fond but careful eyes.

"Hopefully you weren't waiting for long," Mingi says, and gracefully sits beside Seonghwa, pulling Hongjoong down with him. Jongho sits on his other side, and successfully traps Hongjoong in between them.

"Nah, we got here like ten minutes ago," San chirps, and Mingi sends him a genial smile.

"We're also late," Jongho points out, giving Mingi a meaningful look.

Mingi raises his hands in defense. "I couldn't find my wallet!"

"Jongho did the mom thing, it was kinda funny," Yunho explains, and Jongho throws him a glare.

His attempt at murder is stopped by a waitress coming up to take their order, and by the time everyone has ordered, they fall into an easy and pleasant conversation that involves most of the parties at the table. Hongjoong can't help but notice that neither him nor Seonghwa have spoken a single word since they got here. Yeosang hasn't been extremely chatty either, but Hongjoong thinks that might just be his personality. He speaks only if necessary, and most times to make scathing (but funny) remarks or to mock Wooyoung. Hongjoong, for his part, is just happy to sit back with his beer and watch the conversation unfold in front of him, contributing to it with exactly nothing. He wonders what Seonghwa's reason is.

"Hyung, do you mind?" Mingi asks after a while, pointing to the bathroom. Hongjoong startles and nods, and Mingi half climbs over him and Jongho to get out of the booth. That leaves a gaping space between him and Seonghwa that suddenly feels charged with enough electricity to power the entire block.

Seonghwa is sitting with his back half propped against the wall, playing with the straw in his drink idly, and Hongjoong catches him throwing a glance in his direction before he looks away quickly. It makes something go off inside him, something that makes him feel ridiculously warm in this already too-hot bar.

He looks away, focusing on the conversation that’s mostly being carried by San, Wooyoung and Yunho at this point, and tries to ignore the fizzing energy running through him. _Don’t talk to him unless it’s for professional purposes,_ but the line between professional and personal is so blurred with them that Hongjoong doesn’t even know what he’s feeling anymore.

Guilt is a very strong contendant, making his stomach curdle with shame every time he thinks of that night and remembers how stupid he was. Indignation is another one, at Seonghwa’s forced indifference, but it’s quickly trampled by understanding. He can’t say that he wouldn’t have done the same if he were in his situation. Unease and awkwardness are also high up on the list. And deep down, burning so low that it would be easy to miss if it weren’t for the fact that it’s all Hongjoong can think about, want. He wants to find that connection again, that synergy that made him feel like something very important had finally clicked into place. Only to have it ripped away by his own idiotic actions.

His skin feels prickly, and instinctively, he looks to his left, only to catch Seonghwa already staring at him. His eyes widen when they meet Hongjoong's, and he opens his mouth as if to say something, and Hongjoong's stomach drops to his feet with anxiety. Before he can say anything, though, Mingi comes back, anecdote already on his lips and drawing everyone's attention except for Hongjoong's and Seonghwa's.

Their gazes lock and Hongjoong feels like he's hearing everything from underwater, his senses zeroing on Seonghwa and the meter that separates them. A meter that suddenly becomes a few centimeters when something pushes Hongjoong and forces him forward, making him scoot on the couch until he's practically pressed to Seonghwa's side. If Seonghwa looked trapped before, he looks like he wants to die right now, face growing red and eyes looking over Hongjoong's shoulder filled with panic.

Hongjoong follows his gaze and finds Mingi looking smugly at him from where he's occupying the seat that had previously been Jongho's, forcing the younger to move and to subsequently push Hongjoong. It's clear in Mingi's face that he was planning this all along, and Hongjoong is going to strangle him the moment he can get his hands on him.

"I'm sorry," Jongho mutters by his side, but Hongjoong shakes his head minutely, glaring at Mingi with all the heat he can muster. He's nearly not drunk enough for this.

"Not your fault," he whispers back, and sits up straight, pressing as close to Jongho as he can without actually sitting on the younger's lap, and wonders if what he's doing is obvious.

Seonghwa has also sat straighter beside him, looking like he's trying to become one with the wall as his eyes move frantically between San, Yeosang and Hongjoong. He bites his lip apprehensively when Hongjoong meets his stare, and something inside Hongjoong finally snaps, deciding he's had enough of skittering looks and awkward tension.

"Stop it," he hisses under his breath, his voice easily drowned by the music and the sound of whatever Yunho and Mingi are talking about. Seonghwa hears him perfectly, though, and his eyebrows furrow in a way that would be adorable if Hongjoong allowed himself to consider it.

"What?" Seonghwa hisses back at him, and it feels so _great_ to have him talk to him genuinely.

" _Stop_ ," he says again, and then, when it's clear Seonghwa doesn't understand, "Come with me."

" _What?!_ " Seonghwa demands, but Hongjoong is already grabbing his wrist and nudging Jongho to signal him they're getting up.

It's incredible the speed at which his friends move once they realize what's going on. Hongjoong almost expects wolf whistles and shouts when he basically bodily drags Seonghwa out of the booth, but all he gets is a pat on the shoulder from Mingi when he passes him and a thumbs up from San when he gives a look back.

"What are you doing?" Seonghwa questions behind him, and hell if Hongjoong knows.

"I don't know!"

"Then where are we going?!"

"Out!"

The cool August night air hits his face just as he opens the door with one hand, the other still firmly grasping Seonghwa's wrist, and the word gets lost in the sounds of the city. Hongjoong pulls them across the street and towards the pedestrian zone lined with benches.

"This will do," he decides, and stops on his tracks. "Sit down."

Seonghwa looks so utterly lost as he follows Hongjoong's commands that he almost feels bad for him. He pushes that though away from his mind as he sits next to him, though, trying to focus on the task at hand.

There's barely any people out on the street, and Hongjoong supposes they aren't really that interesting, so anything they have to say will be safe between the two of them. When he looks up to Seonghwa's face, he is looking at him with cautious eyes, his mouth set in a little pout as he fiddles with his hands on his lap. He's endearing on top of being hot, and Hongjoong thinks this should simply not be allowed.

"Why are we here?" Seonghwa asks at the same time that Hongjoong pleads:

"Stop ignoring me."

They look at each other for a second, the air between them filled with a sort of tension that feels different from the one they had before, and Hongjoong can't help but wonder whether all of this will end in disaster.

"You first," Seonghwa says, bowing his head slightly, almost like he's ashamed. Hongjoong studies him for a second, his tired eyes, the tight set of his mouth, the way his shoulders have slumped under the too-big, white graphic t-shirt he's wearing. Hongjoong hates seeing him like this, especially when he compares him to the bright and charming man he met at that club all those weeks ago.

He takes a breath, running his hand through his hair to buy himself some time to think, and leans back on the bench.

"Please stop pretending you don't know who I am," he says into the night. There's a slight breeze that makes his shirt flap against his chest, and it tousles Seonghwa's hair when he looks up at him. "I know I fucked up, and I'm sorry, but I _hate_ it."

"I- " Seonghwa stops himself, rolls his lips in, wets them with his tongue. "I'm sorry."

And despite it being what Hongjoong wanted, it somehow doesn't sit right with him. It's not Seonghwa who should be apologizing, it's him.

"It's not… it's not your fault, it was me," he says, looking away from Seonghwa's confused and worried face and to the street. Most shops are already closed, and the streetlights wash everything in an eerie yet warm light that Hongjoong finds more charming than he should. His fingers itch with the desire to get his phone out and take pictures of Seonghwa in this subdued atmosphere, his sharp features accentuated by the chiaroscuro, the pictures grainy and just the right amount of candid to give off that grunge feel Hongjoong is so fond of. Instead, he sits on his hands and bites his lip. "I should have left a note or woken you up, I'm so sorry, I'm such an idiot."

"You- what?"

"That night, I left without saying anything, hell, I should have woken you, but the boys were at the hospital, and I panicked, and-" he cuts himself off, losing a frustrated huff. It sounds like an excuse even to his own ears, and when he looks at Seonghwa, he's giving him a look of utter confusion.

"Hospital?" he repeats, softly, his dark eyes reflecting the light and appearing even darker.

Hongjoong brings his feet up to the bench and hugs his knees. Resting his cheek on them, he stares at Seonghwa shamelessly, drinking him up with his eyes. This might be the only chance he gets to explain himself and make things right, and he knows he won't be able to look at him again if he fucks up, so he's going to stare his fill tonight, and hope it's enough to last him for the rest of his life.

"I know it sounds stupid and impossible, but honestly, it kind of isn't when you know them," he starts. Seonghwa looks right back at him, eyebrows furrowed and back straight where he sits with his hands in his lap. "Mingi and Jongho were fake brawling, and Jongho accidentally punched Mingi in the nose. They were really drunk, and Mingi was bleeding a lot and started to get dizzy, so Yunho called a taxi and took them to the hospital. In the end it wasn't that serious, but they wouldn't discharge them until someone sober came to pick them up, and you'll never guess who Yunho's emergency contact is, for stuff like this."

The ghost of a smile appears on Seonghwa's lips. "You?"

There's no humor in Hongjoong's dry chuckle. "Me. They called at around five, I'm surprised you didn't hear anything."

Seonghwa makes a face, and Hongjoong revels again in how easy it is to speak to him, even given the circumstances. "I'm quite a heavy sleeper."

"Yeah, I could tell," Hongjoong comments, and bites his tongue immediately after. He's not sure he can joke around with it just yet. "But I was also stupid, I should have woken you."

Seonghwa is silent for a moment, his gaze locked on Hongjoong's, and Hongjoong should feel nervous or awkward, but he just feels tired.

"I won't deny that I might have gotten my hopes up," he says slowly, and Hongjoong can't help but wince. "All this time, I've been wondering whether it was something I did, or if you were just being nice and were planning on leaving all along, so hearing this makes it a bit easier, I think."

"I'm so sorry," Hongjoong breathes, his chest feeling tight. "I have no excuse, I fucked up, and I understand that you were hurt."

"I was," Seonghwa says, but his expression is light when he does. "I shouldn't have been, but I was."

Hongjoong opens his mouth to apologize again, but he beats him to it.

"I'm sorry about the way I've been treating you, it wasn't fair, to either of us," he tells Hongjoong, who can't physically tear his eyes away from him. "I panicked and I tried to be reasonable and I think I failed."

He lets out a sad, small laugh, and Hongjoong feels like the air has been sucked from his lungs.

"We're kind of a mess, aren't we?"

"I would say so," Seonghwa offers him a small smile. "But I don't think I dislike it."

And Hongjoong finds himself smiling, too, in spite of it all. "You don't?"

Seonghwa's eyes slowly trace over his face, and Hongjoong allows himself to be a bit hopeful for the first time all night. "No, I really don't."

They look at each other for a moment, both assimilating the situation, and now that the truth is out, and it's pretty clear that Seonghwa doesn't hate him, Hongjoong makes no effort to try and mask the longing in his gaze.

And then, an admittedly crazy idea crosses his mind.

"Does your offer still stand?" he asks, tentatively, watching, amused, as Seonghwa's eyebrows furrow in confusion for a second before his face lights up with understatement.

"Breakfast?"

Hongjoong nods in confirmation, biting on his lip to stop himself from doing something like smiling coyly, which he is not beyond doing, at this point. He just _wants_ Seonghwa, and he's decided that he's not going to let him go twice. And there's always the possibility that he might be reading this all wrong, but he doesn't think the look in Seonghwa's eyes is entirely platonic either.

"Yeah," he breathes, "does it? Because if it does, my place is like a five minute walk from here…"

Seonghwa goes back to looking confused. "You want me to cook you breakfast now?"

And really, he's lucky he's so damn good looking, and that Hongjoong has already decided he would risk it all for him, because he really can't take a hint to save his life. Hongjoong decides to spell it out loud and clear for both their sakes.

"Or we could find something a little more entertaining to do now, and you can stay the night and cook in the morning," he proposes, giving Seonghwa a very obvious once-over.

Finally, he seems to catch on. "Oh! _Oh!_ You mean-"

"Yeah," Hongjoong giggles, endeared in spite of it all. "Only if you want."

"I- I," Seonghwa stutters for a second, and Hongjoong would laugh at him if he weren't running entirely on a bout of bravado himself. "Yes, yeah, I do."

Hongjoong's heart goes off in his chest. "You do?"

Seonghwa gives him a look. "I thought it was clear how I feel about you."

That makes Hongjoong's cheeks burn up. "I- I mean, I _guessed_ , but I wouldn't say _clear_."

Seonghwa rolls his eyes, and suddenly he's in Hongjoong's space, leaning over him on the bench.

"I want you," he mutters, his eyes bearing into Hongjoong's. "So much it's been making me go out of my mind."

Well, Hongjoong can kiss his bravado goodbye, because there's no way he can recover from this.

"M-me too," he stammers, feeling hot all over. He'd forgotten how good Seonghwa smells, sweet and like laundry detergent, and for some reason, that smell is as comforting as it's maddening.

"You were saying your place is nearby?" Seonghwa asks, and it takes Hongjoong's brain a second to regain higher function and allow him to nod.

"Five minute walk," he croaks out. Seonghwa smiles then, and it's surprisingly tender for how hungry his eyes look.

"I guess my offer still stands, then." He leans in, and Hongjoong is bracing himself for impact, but his lips brush against his cheek instead of his mouth, and he's pulling away before Hongjoong can fully process the contact. "Lead the way."

Hongjoong springs to his feet without having to be told twice. "Come with me," he orders, and grabs Seonghwa by the arm to pull him up too.

They're the longest five minutes of his life, and by the time they've made it to his door, and he's texted Yunho to Not Come Back Tonight Unless He Wants Hongjoong To Hate Him, he's feeling all jitters and no sexiness.

Luckily, Seonghwa seems to catch that, because as soon as they're through the door, he cups Hongjoong's face with his hands and leans in again.

His breath fans over Hongjoong's lips when he admits. "I'm terrified of you right now."

Which is the right thing to say, because it makes Hongjoong laugh and feel brave enough to link his arms behind Seonghwa's neck. "Good, because I'm also scared to death."

Seonghwa smiles at him, and Hongjoong feels warmth spread from the hands on his face to the tips of his toes.

"Can I kiss you?"

"I'd be disappointed if you didn't," Hongjoong mutters, and he has time to hear Seonghwa's chuckle before their lips meet and his thoughts turn to white noise.

It's a lot slower than the first time, both of them a bit insecure, unsure of where the limits are. But Seonghwa remembers all the things that make Hongjoong squirm, and Hongjoong is determined to make Seonghwa fall apart, so it's a lot more beautiful.

They touch each other like this is the last time, because it _might be_ , and Hongjoong tries to convey it all to memory, every gasp, every sound, every drag of reverent fingers against skin. Even when they lay beside each other afterwards, struggling to catch a breath but buzzing with joy, he holds Seonghwa close, not wanting to let the moment end.

"I won't leave this time," he says against his collarbone, exhausted and desperate.

Seonghwa's fingers dig into his hip. "Promise?"

Hongjoong nods tiredly. "I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> end of the slowish burn, cue fluff


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you brought your toothbrush bc this is all fluff

Seonghwa wakes up feeling cold all over. For a second, he blinks sleep away, sitting up and staring around confusedly at a bedroom that isn't his. Then he remembers the events of last night and he feels a jolt of panic that's instantly calmed by the sound of someone singing outside the room.

He quietly steps out of bed, putting on his underwear and shirt from the night prior, and walks out of the room, squinting when bright light hits his eyes. He blindly follows the sound of Hongjoong's voice in direction of what he thinks is the kitchen, the layout of the apartment a bit fuzzy in his head.

The scent of coffee is the first thing he notices when he stops at the door. The second is Hongjoong's absolutely ridiculous and endearing get-up. He's standing by the counter, stirring his coffee as he hums along to some English song Seonghwa doesn't recognize. His hair is up in a little ponytail, a hairband around his head, and he's wearing a pink hoodie that's entirely too big for him, reaching halfway down his bare thighs. Seonghwa's heart does a little flip in his chest at how tiny Hongjoong manages to be.

"Good morning," Seonghwa says, stifling a laugh when Hongjoong jumps in surprise. He turns to Seonghwa with a stern look that turns soft when they lock eyes.

"Good morning," he replies, taking a little sip of his coffee. His hands are completely hidden away by the sleeves of his hoodie. Seonghwa thinks he'll burst. "Did you sleep well?"

Seonghwa hums in affirmation, walking into the kitchen and letting one of Hongjoong's sweater paws pull him closer. He gently noses along his cheek, planting a kiss there. "You broke your promise, though. I woke up and you weren't there."

Hongjoong lets out a small sound, hitting his shoulder weakly. "I was making coffee," he protests. Seonghwa kisses along his jaw to calm him down, smiling softly when Hongjoong tilts his head back to give him better access.

"It's okay, I forgive you," he mutters. All he gets is a small sigh in response, but that's enough. He continues kissing Hongjoong slowly, tracing his neck and the bit of his collarbone that's exposed from the too-big hoodie. Hongjoong's hand clutches his side, tightening gradually on his shirt as he makes his way back upwards, kissing under his ear.

"I…" he starts, and stops himself. Seonghwa nudges him to get him to continue. He feels Hongjoong gulp as he kisses his pulse point. "This is probably me getting ahead of myself," Hongjoong says with a small voice. Seonghwa kisses under his jaw. "But I don't want this to be a one time thing."

Seonghwa smiles against his skin, a warm feeling spreading from his chest all the way to his fingertips. "You could argue it's been a two time thing," he says, just to see if it makes Hongjoong laugh.

"You know what I mean," Hongjoong says with a huff. Seonghwa smiles even bigger as he pulls away to look him in the eye. Hongjoong's face is open, an earnest look in his eyes as he stares up at Seonghwa. "Listen, I'm not asking you to be my boyfriend or anything, but maybe we could give this a try?"

Seonghwa tilts his head at him. "What do you mean?"

Hongjoong places his mug on the counter so that he can gesticulate with both hands. "We went about this the wrong way," he explains. "We started at the end," he says, making a little gesture with his sleeve-covered hand. "We skipped over the beginning, which is to say, the getting to know each other."

Seonghwa nods, seeing where he's coming from. They went straight from strangers to having sex, to what one could call acquaintances, to having sex again. The underlying feelings are there, but neither of them know enough about the other to do this properly.

"What do you propose, then?" he asks, bringing a hand up to brush some stray hairs away from his face. He leaves his hand on Hongjoong's cheek, feeling the soft skin there.

Hongjoong leans against his touch. "Let's start over," he says, looking at Seonghwa with the entire universe in his eyes. "Let's go on a date and see where it takes us."

Seonghwa's throat feels dry suddenly. "I… that would be nice," he croaks out, feeling as though the air is being sucked from his lungs when Hongjoong smiles up at him.

"Good," he says, linking his hands behind Seonghwa's neck. "Are you free today?"

Seonghwa laughs, shaking his head. "Bit eager, aren't we?"

Hongjoong just shrugs, smiling so bright Seonghwa feels he should cover his eyes. "I never said I was patient," he replies genially. Seonghwa feels his heart twist in his chest.

"Believe me, I know," he says with a pointed look. Hongjoong's cheeks turn an adorable shade of pink.

"Shut up!" He squeaks.

"Make me," Seonghwa retorts easily.

Hongjoong huffs, looking away. "You'd like that, wouldn't you."

Seonghwa smiles, not at all fazed, and leans in to claim the kiss Hongjoong denied him. It's almost laughable, how easily all the fight leaves Hongjoong's body and he melts against Seonghwa's lips, pulling him closer by the hand on his nape. He lets Seonghwa push him backwards against the counter and lift him up until he's sitting on it, his legs coming to wrap loosely around Seonghwa's waist.

They kiss lazily for a while, neither of them in a hurry. Seonghwa leaves Hongjoong's mouth in favor of his neck again, kissing softly down the column of his throat, trying to pull one of those wonderful noises from him. He feels Hongjoong's hands slide in his hair, holding on but not pulling.

"To answer your question," he starts, lips pressing to the skin under Hongjoong's ear. Hongjoong lets out a sweet little sound. "I am free today," he says, running his fingers down Hongjoong's bare thighs, reveling in the trail of goosebumps they leave. "And I would very much like to take you on a date."

Hongjoong's legs tighten around him, pulling them flush together. "I can think of something else you can do before," he says, his voice dangerously breathless. It's so easy, riling him up, Seonghwa doesn't even feel proud about it.

"As you wish," he laughs against his skin, picking him up and walking them back to the bedroom.

* * *

Some time later finds them sitting in Hongjoong's kitchen, a much similar setting to last night's, with the exception that the silence surrounding them as they eat is comfortable and filled with a sort of tenderness that's miles away from the tense, charged silence of yesterday. They're finally eating breakfast together, even if Seonghwa didn't really cook anything other than toast, and it's perfect.

Seonghwa sips on his orange juice almost absentmindedly, too focused on the cute swell of Hongjoong's cheeks stuffed with cereal. Seonghwa almost had an attack when he saw him pour his milk first, which led to an extended debate over what went first that was eventually left unsolved in favor of eating. This is exactly what he'd wanted that first night weeks ago, but he could have never imagined the way it would make his heart ache in the best possible way once he's finally got it.

"Did you have any date ideas?" Hongjoong asks after a while, stirring his (newly made) coffee.

"Hm?" Seonghwa looks up at him from his toast. "Not really," he tells him honestly. His plan had been to maybe go for a walk and figure it out from there. "Why? Did you wanna do something?"

Hongjoong stares contemplatively at his coffee for a second. "It's just an idea…" he starts, not sounding convinced. "But some friends of mine are busking in Hongdae today," he says looking up with a shy expression.

Seonghwa smiles at him. "Did you want to go see them?"

Hongjoong returns his smile with a little smile of his own. He nods. "Only if you want to, though, I don't want to impose."

Seonghwa reaches out to take his hand on the table. He doesn't remember telling his brain to do that, but it feels right when Hongjoong's hand immediately turns in his to tangle their fingers together.

"You're not imposing, I'd love to go see them with you," he tells him, giving his fingers a little squeeze. "We can grab some lunch later, how's that sound?"

Hongjoong's smile is entirely too bright for Seonghwa to be worthy of it. "Sounds like a plan."

Seonghwa wills his heart to stop racing inside his chest. "I should probably stop by my place to change first, though," he comments, giving his shirt a look.

"You can borrow something of mine if you want," Hongjoong replies. Seonghwa tries not to laugh, he really does. "What?"

"I'm sorry," he says as he gasps for air. "But what exactly do you own that would fit me?"

Hongjoong's mouth opens in silent offense before he's pulling his hand from Seonghwa's and crossing his arms in front of him with a frown. It's adorable. "Lots of things!" he proclaims. "I'm not that short, for your information."

Seonghwa can only laugh harder, which earns him a kick under the table. "Ouch! Fine, you're not short," he gives in, trying to suppress his laughter. He succeeds, more or less. "You're just pint sized."

Hongjoong glares at him, the effect of it mostly diminished by how the hoodie swallows him and only the tips of his fingers are showing from his sleeves. "I'm gonna kick you out," he threatens.

"You won't," Seonghwa grins at him. Hongjoong's eyes narrow, as if taking up the challenge. Seonghwa puts on his best sweet voice. "Who's gonna take you on a date, then?"

Hongjoong rolls his eyes. "I'll find someone," he bites out. He's cute when he's mad. "Hell, I'll take myself on one, I don't need no man."

Seonghwa laughs at that, stretching his arms forward and resting his chin on the table. Hongjoong eyes his grabby hands suspiciously. "But you'll give me a chance?" he asks, looking up at Hongjoong with his best pout.

He sees Hongjoong's resolution crumble as he sighs, uncrossing his arms and threading his fingers through Seonghwa's. His hands are so _small_. "You're lucky I'm already in too deep," Hongjoong mutters, refusing to meet his eyes. Seonghwa's heart does a perilous leap in his chest.

He decides to drop all pretense and speak honestly. "That makes two of us."

When Hongjoong's eyes meet his, they're wide and earnest, no trace of the previous fight or playfulness. There's fear in them, and Seonghwa wants to reach over and kiss it away. He wants to make sure to show Hongjoong that this is something they can make work, despite his fear and Seonghwa's doubts. Because Seonghwa wants this, whatever will come out of it, he wants to share it with Hongjoong, wants to try.

"You are so much more than what I bargained for," Hongjoong says softly, his thumbs running along the back of Seonghwa's hands absentmindedly. Seonghwa smiles warmly up at him.

"And you haven't seen anything yet," he taunts with a wink. It's ridiculous, it's completely stupid, it's something he'd never do for fear of embarrassing himself, but Hongjoong makes him want to do all the dumb things he'd never do just to see that beautiful smile.

Hongjoong snorts, a small smile finding its way to his lips, and he looks down at Seonghwa through his eyelashes. "You seem very confident."

Seonghwa's smile turns smug as he pushes himself on his elbows, bringing their faces close. He licks his lips, and he doesn't miss the way Hongjoong's eyes quickly dart downwards before looking into his eyes again. "I'm determined to make this the best date you've gone on," he promises.

Hongjoong scoffs, but his smile grows wider. "We'll see," he says, and Seonghwa knows a challenge when he hears one.

He's never been one to back down from a challenge before.

* * *

Walking into Hongdae is an experience.

Seonghwa hasn't been here for leisure since he was a teen, and he'd forgotten how crowded it gets. Several people with all kinds of musical instruments pepper the street, the crowds flowing around them. It's an arrhythmic movement, people stopping and walking without regard for anyone else, and Seonghwa fears he'll lose Hongjoong amongst them. It really shouldn't be easy, with his shock of red hair, but despite his insistence, he _is_ short, and there's a lot of people.

He's about to say something about not getting separated when a small hand curls around his and he's being pulled towards the crowd. He stares at the back of Hongjoong's head in shock for a second before he lets himself be led. Seonghwa doesn't understand why, but for some reason, holding hands in public feels way more intimate to him than anything they've done.

Hongjoong stops suddenly and Seonghwa has to catch himself from colliding with him. He turns to look at Seonghwa with a blinding smile, his eyes scrunching in that adorable way of his. Seonghwa wants to kiss him.

"They're here!" he shouts over the noise. Seonghwa looks over his head and tries to catch a glimpse over the people in front of them. He doesn't see much, but he guesses he doesn't have to see, but rather _hear_ what's going on.

Over the sound of people speaking, he hears a deep bassline that reminds him of the jazz songs his dad used to listen to, and someone rapping. They're _good_. Seonghwa can't see them, but he hears three different voices, each one with its own distinct color, but all equally talented. The song talks about stealing the spotlight and getting to be famous one day, and Seonghwa can't help but agree when the rappers pronounce themselves scene stealers.

The song ends and the crowd cheers. Seonghwa finds himself clapping along with them. Hongjoong is in front of him clapping enthusiastically and practically bouncing in place.

"Thank you!" one of the voices says once the cheers have died down. "We're 3RACHA, thank you for coming!"

"Aw, they're almost done," Hongjoong comments, and Seonghwa can hear the pout in his face. He takes a risk and places a hand on his waist, rubbing it with his thumb soothingly. Hongjoong melts into the touch and leans back against his chest.

A different voice speaks. "I'm CB97 and these are SPEARB and J.ONE. We have one last song for you, this is called Runner's High!"

The crowd cheers again as the beat starts, something completely different to the previous song. This one is aggressive where the other one had been smooth, and the bars flow much faster than they had. It's impressive.

"They're good!" Seonghwa says in Hongjoong's ear. The redhead turns to him with a dazzling smile.

"I told you!"

The people in front of them move, and suddenly they get a view of the performers. There's three of them, as Seonghwa had counted, plus another one a bit to the back who's balancing a laptop on his knees. The three rappers bounce around the little circle people have left for them, hyping each other up as they spit bars.

They can't be much younger than Seonghwa, and they are dressed in baggy clothes and wearing hats. The one closest to them looks in their direction and his face lights up when he sees Hongjoong waving frantically at him. He does a little salute in acknowledgement before turning to finish the last chorus with his partners.

"Thank you!" they say as the crowd erupts in cheers again. The boy who was with the laptop is now holding up a sign with several social media accounts written on it. "We were 3RACHA, look us up on SoundCloud!"

"Wait a second," Seonghwa says over the cheers of the crowd. One of them has removed the snapback he was wearing and Seonghwa recognizes that face. "I know him."

Hongjoong turns to him with a puzzled expression. "What? Who?"

"The short one with the bowl cut," he points to the man in question, who is now high fiving people in the audience. "He's Wooyoung's friend."

"Changbin?" Hongjoong looks completely puzzled. Seonghwa nods and Hongjoong lets out a disbelieving laugh. "Wow. The world really is small."

"Indeed," Seonghwa replies. He's about to add something when Hongjoong is nearly tackled to the ground by one of the rappers.

"Hongjoongie hyung!" he shrieks, and Seonghwa notices he's the one that saluted him earlier. "You made it!"

Hongjoong hugs him back tightly, and Seonghwa thinks it's cute because they're both adorably sized.

"Of course I did, Jisungie," Hongjoong replies, pulling back and ruffling the other's hair. Jisung makes a sound and pushes his hands away. Hongjoong laughs, but he suddenly cuts himself off with a pout. "I'm afraid we only caught the last two songs, though."

"That's fine," another voice says, and Seonghwa looks up to find a boy with curly hair and dimples beaming at them. "It was the usual set."

"I'm sure it was amazing," Hongjoong returns his smile with one of his own, and Seonghwa can't think of a time when he's seen him this excited. Then again there haven't been many reasons for him to be recently. He's gonna change that.

"It sure was!" yet another boy joins them; the one with the laptop. Up close Seonghwa can see a splatter of freckles all over his cheeks and button nose. "'Cause 3RACHA is the hottest rap crew in Korea!"

"Oi, Felix, calm down," the boy with curly hair drapes an arm over his shoulders in a way that seems almost paternalistic. He turns to Hongjoong with a little smile. "Hongjoongie, this is Felix, he's our newest acquisition."

Felix pushes him with a gasp. "You say that like I'm a pet!"

"You can be our official mascot," Jisung deadpans.

Felix pouts at him. "You two are mean."

Jisung and the other boy exchange an amused look and suddenly they're both hugging Felix, who lets out a surprised yelp.

"Please, forgive us, Lixie, you know we love you," the one with curly hair says in a ridiculous voice.

Felix makes a show out of pushing them away, but his cheeks are dusted pink when they part, and he's wearing a dopey smile.

"Yah! Are you two terrorizing Yongbokie again?" the remaining member of the group finally joins them, looking ready to pick a fight.

"Aww," Jisung coos with a shit-eating grin. "Your knight in shining armor is here to save you."

Felix's face and ears go a dangerous shade of red. _Oh,_ Seonghwa thinks, watching the way Felix turns to look at the newcomer, _I see._ Cute.

"Leave him alone, you two," the shorter boy (Changbin?) berates them. He turns to say something to Hongjoong, probably greet him, but his eyes land on Seonghwa instead. "Hey, I know you!"

That redirects the attention to him, and everyone looks at him like they hadn't seen him until now. Seonghwa awkwardly waves, ignoring Hongjoong's amused smile. "Hi," he says.

"You're Wooyoungie's friend, right?" Changbin asks, giving him a crooked smile. Seonghwa nods.

"Seonghwa," he introduces himself.

The curly haired boy steps up then, giving Hongjoong a sly grin. "Well, were you gonna introduce us, or what?"

Hongjoong makes a little scrunched face at him, showing disgust. It's amazing how he can convey the entire spectrum of human emotion with a scrunch of his nose. Seonghwa finds it practically impossible to bear with how cute it is, but he's sure Hongjoong would hit him if he said so.

"Shut up," Hongjoong says, but there's not heat behind it, and his cheeks have gained a slight pink color. He reaches blindly for Seonghwa until his hands wrap around his arm and pulls him forward. "Everyone, this is Seonghwa, Seonghwa, these are Channie hyung, Changbin and Jisung. And Felix, I guess," he says, pointing at each one of them as he introduces them.

"Hey."

"How's it going, man?"

Seonghwa dutifully bows to all of them as they exchange pleasantries. It's nice, they're nice. He can see why Hongjoong is friends with them.

"So, are you guys doing anything now?" Chan asks after a while, when they've moved and they're busy picking up their set. Hongjoong offered to help them, but they wouldn't let him do anything, so now he's hanging from Seonghwa's arm with a sulky expression. Seonghwa resists the urge to pat his head.

Hongjoong hums, as if considering the answer. "Lunch," he says. "And then maybe go to the thrift shops?" he looks up at Seonghwa to confirm, because they haven't talked about what they are going to do after lunch. Seonghwa shrugs. It sounds like a good plan. Hongjoong smiles sweetly and Seonghwa's entire body feels warm.

"Aw, look at them," Jisung says as he rolls the wire of a microphone around his hand. "Aren't they adorable?"

Seonghwa looks away from Hongjoong's eyes, feeling his face heat up. It's one thing to be confident when it's just the two of them, but out here in the open he just feels awkward. He's not sure what his face is doing right now, but it doesn't feel far off from a grimace.

Chan smacks the back of Jisung's head. "Shut it, you idiot, you've made them uncomfortable!"

"Ouch!" Jisung rubs the spot with a hand. "I was just saying!"

"You guys realize we are here and can hear you, right?" Hongjoong asks, his voice sounding embarrassed.

"I mean, yeah, but-"

"Shut up already!"

That starts an argument that ends up with Chan putting Jisung in a headlock until the younger has to plead to be released. Behind them, Felix stares at the whole scene with a worried expression as Changbin just shakes his head and continues to stack equipment. Seonghwa wonders if all of Hongjoong's friends are like this and then he remembers Jongho and Mingi. They're definitely all like this.

"Well, don't let us keep you for any longer," Chan says with Jisung still struggling under his hold. "Go do your thing."

"Right," Hongjoong says, letting go of Seonghwa's arm to go give him a hug. Chan finally releases Jisung to return it, the younger boy pretending to gasp for air as he stands up.

"It was nice seeing you, hyung," Changbin calls from behind them. Hongjoong smiles and waves at him and Felix, accepting one last high five from Jisung as he turns in Seonghwa's direction. "You too, Seonghwa! Treat him right, you hear me?"

Seonghwa jumps at being addressed, blinking in confusion at Changbin, who is looking at him with a wicked expression. "Y-yes," he stammers, not sure of why he's suddenly being threatened.

"Oh my God," Hongjoong mutters beside him. He starts pulling him in the opposite direction, laughing silently as they hear Chan bellow 'I can't bring you two anywhere!' and the following complaints. "I promise they're usually more… normal."

Seonghwa laughs, linking their arms together as they get lost in the crowd again. "Was he flexing at me?"

Hongjoong throws his head back with a groan. That exposes a bruise on his neck, but Seonghwa refuses to point it out. "I swear."

"It's fine," Seonghwa reassures him. "It was funny."

"Let's just get something to eat," Hongjoong grumbles, and he's cute, so Seonghwa can't say no to him.

They find a hole-in-the-wall noodle place a couple of streets over that's not terribly overpriced, and decide that it will do. Conversation flows easily as they wait for their orders. Seonghwa had thought that they'd run out of topics after the amount of time they've spent together in the past twenty-four hours, but it never happens.

"So, the Felix kid," Seonghwa comments as they're eating, remembering his blush.

"His voice doesn't match his face at all, right?!" Hongjoong finishes for him, an almost amazed expression on his face.

Seonghwa blinks for a second, surprised at the outburst, but has to nod in agreement. "Not at all," he concedes. "But I meant to mention how he kept staring at Changbin."

"Oh?" Hongjoong tilts his head in question, his mouth full of noodles. Seonghwa gulps down the urge to coo with a sip of water.

"Like he'd hung the moon or something, don't tell me you didn't see it," he explains. Hongjoong shakes his head, looking completely lost. "Gee, are you really that oblivious?"

"Hey!" he bristles. "I'm not oblivious! I'm just not very good at seeing stuff like this," he finishes with a pout.

Seonghwa shakes his head fondly at him. "He was looking at him the way Wooyoung looks at Yeosang, it was kinda gross."

"Wait, Wooyoung likes Yeosang?" Hongjoong asks, successfully making Seonghwa choke on his water. Hongjoong's eyes go comically wide as he reaches over to pat Seonghwa on the back as he coughs.

It takes him a few seconds to get his breathing under control, and when he does, he bursts out laughing.

"What?" asks Hongjoong, looking worried but also somehow annoyed. "What did I say that's so funny?"

" _I'm not oblivious_ ," Seonghwa mocks him. Hongjoong's eyes narrow. "Wooyoung and Yeosang have been together for three years."

Hongjoong's eyes and mouth open wide. "They have _not_!" he exclaims, shaking his head as Seonghwa nods his. "But Yeosang doesn't even like Wooyoung!"

Seonghwa snorts. "I've never met anyone as whipped as Yeosang is for Wooyoung."

"But- but- they're always arguing!" Hongjoong continues. He looks so dumbfounded, it's hard for Seonghwa not to break down laughing again. "Yeosang has him blocked on Twitter!"

"Still?" Seonghwa asks, amused. "This is the longest he's had him blocked, I'm impressed."

"That doesn't make any sense," Hongjoong admonishes.

Seonghwa shrugs. "I guess it doesn't have to make sense as long as it works, right? Yeosang is bad at expressing his emotions, Wooyoung excels in that field; they just complement each other."

Hongjoong still looks unconvinced. He's stopped eating and now he's just staring ahead with a slight frown. Seonghwa can practically see him analyzing every Wooyoung-Yeosang interaction he's seen in his head.

"Look at it this way," Seonghwa says, smiling softly. "Opposites attract, right?"

Hongjoong shakes his head. His mouth is set in a small pout and it really is inconvenient that Seonghwa can't kiss him right now. "But that's true for like, magnets, not people."

Seonghwa shrugs. "It's true for these people."

"Hm," Hongjoong hums, still looking like he's not quite buying it. He's stubborn, Seonghwa is beginning to learn. It's sort of endearing.

"Don't worry your pretty little head about it, okay?" Seonghwa muses, finishing his noodles. He motions to Hongjoong to do the same. "Your food will go cold, come on."

Hongjoong nods and silently eats the rest of his bowl. Seonghwa doesn't like seeing him so sulky, so he quickly skims his head for some topic that might divert his attention elsewhere. He feels a lightbulb light up in his head.

"So, why photography?" he asks.

Hongjoong looks at him for a beat, and Seonghwa sees in his eyes that he is aware of what he's trying to do. It feels like a small victory when Hongjoong takes the bait anyway.

"I've always liked fashion and it seemed like a good path to keep in contact with it without going full on designer or model," he explains, shrugging a shoulder.

Seonghwa hums, resting his chin on his hand and smiling slightly. "I like how you say that like you could have easily been both."

A little smile appears in Hongjoong's lips. "I mean, duh," he says, making a little vain gesture with his hand. His smile grows when that makes Seonghwa laugh.

"Of course, how foolish of me to doubt you."

"Right? Like, how was that even a question," Hongjoong's smile is back to being its usual brightness, and the world feels right again. "Maybe in another life I'm a renowned designer, who knows."

Seonghwa smiles at him indulgently. "Absolutely. Do I meet you in that life too?" he asks, teasingly.

"Hmm," Hongjoong thinks it over, his smile blinding. "Maybe you're a pretty model and I get to design all kinds of nice clothes for you."

"I'd like that, actually," Seonghwa admits.

"Me too."

* * *

Hongjoong closes the door to his apartment and leans against it with a smile so big his cheeks hurt. Inside his chest, his heart is hammering like crazy and his blood is buzzing with what feels like literal electricity. He might as well be floating with how light he feels. This is the happiest he's been in a long time, and he doesn't quite know what to do with himself.

If he closes his eyes and focuses hard enough, he can still feel the weight of Seonghwa's lips on his, the drag of his fingers against his scalp as he crowded him against the front door of his building.

"I've been dying to do this all day," he breathed into Hongjoong's mouth, pulling a curse from him.

"Why didn't you, then?"

Seonghwa kissed down his jaw. "You were having fun," he murmured. "I didn't want to distract you."

Hongjoong laughed. "This is fun too."

All he got was a hum in response before Seonghwa's mouth was on his again, gentle but demanding. Hongjoong was more than happy to provide.

That was minutes ago, when Seonghwa pulled away and stared at him softly before saying he should probably go. Hongjoong nodded reluctantly, letting go of him despite every cell in his body screaming for him to pull him closer.

"I will see you tomorrow," Seonghwa promised, pressing one last kiss to his forehead that made Hongjoong's heart sing.

He rounded the corner with a little wave, taking all warmth with him.

"Well, hello there," a voice pulls him from his own personal dreamland. Hongjoong opens his eyes to find Yunho leaning against the wall, a curious but teasing smile on his face. "You're home late."

"Yunho, I think I'm in love," he blurts out before he can stop himself. Objectively, he knows the bubbly sensation in his chest is far from being love, but it feels like the hopeful beginning to something very similar.

Yunho's smile grows, fully teasing now. "Does this have anything to do with a certain agent?"

Hongjoong nods, not even trying to hide the smile in his face. He feels like he's in highschool with his first crush all over again. His heart is about to burst, and for once, he doesn't want the feeling to stop, he just wants to bask in the afterglow for as long as he can.

"Did you two speak last night?" Yunho asks as he watches Hongjoong remove his coat and shoes.

Hongjoong lets out a snort. "Amongst other things," he says, just to see the little disgusted face Yunho makes.

"Ew, okay, TMI," he says, pushing a laughing Hongjoong towards the living room.

"I didn't even say anything, you just assumed! Maybe we played board games," he teases.

"Oh, I'm sure your game of strip poker had a happy ending," Yunho replies, sitting heavily on the couch. Hongjoong laughs heartily at that, sitting cross-legged on the armchair.

"That's one way to put it," he says easily. Everything feels so much lighter for some reason.

"So, did you spend the entire day with him?" Yunho's eyebrows are terribly curious even if he tries to pass it as a casual question.

But Hongjoong is too happy to care about how this is going to be gossip tomorrow, and launches into a detailed retelling of the entire day; of the trip to Hongdae, lunch, and the following visit to the vintage clothes stores, all with what he's sure is the dopiest smile on his face.

"... and then he walked me home despite the fact that he lives in the exact opposite direction," he finishes, dreamily.

By the end of his little spiel, Yunho is smiling fondly at him as he leans on the couch, a hand covering his mouth. "That's so cute," he half-whispers. "I'm so glad things worked out for you two."

"I mean," Hongjoong says, sobering up a bit. "We haven't established _what_ we are, exactly. I think we're both just testing the waters."

"No, but it's okay," Yunho hurries to reassure him. Hongjoong feels a sudden wave of affection towards him. "You don't need to define it just yet, as long as you're both happy and it works?"

"Speaking from experience?" Hongjoong can't help but tease him. He knows it's awful of him, but it's worth seeing a blush creep up Yunho's cheeks and ears.

"Maybe," he croaks, not meeting his eyes. Hongjoong stifles a giggle.

"I'm just happy that you're happy," he simply says, smiling at Yunho.

"You too!" he replies immediately. He always reminds Hongjoong of a puppy, but he does even more when he acts like this. "You deserve it."

It's Hongjoong's turn to blush. "Ah, shut up."

"You do, though," Yunho presses. "You'd been so down lately, it's nice seeing you happy again."

Hongjoong's face feels like it's on fire. "Stop it," he whines.

Yunho grins, no trace of his previous embarrassment visible. "I will, but only because I'm hungry and I was waiting for you to have dinner."

And just as he says that, Hongjoong realizes he's starving. "Please tell me you made something."

Which is a bit of a hopeful plea in itself, because Yunho hates cooking, and more days than not, if Hongjoong hasn't cooked anything, they end up eating takeout. But Yunho nods, beaming proudly, and stands from the couch.

"I was feeling adventurous, so I made some kimchi fried rice," he proclaims.

" _Adventurous,_ " Hongjoong laughs, but his tummy growls in approval.

"Hey," Yunho pouts. "No food for you if you're mean."

"Thank you so much for making dinner for me, Yun, you're the best friend ever," Hongjoong hurriedly replies. Yunho lets out a snort and beckons him to the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're thinking whether thats a reference to backstitch, yes it is


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yep, you guessed it, even more fluff

"KIM HONGJOONG, I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DON'T WAKE UP IN THE NEXT THREE SECONDS-"

Yunho's scream is cut short by Hongjoong stumbling out of bed and straight into his chest.

"'m up!" Hongjoong slurs against his shirt. "Stop yellin'."

"Good," Yunho says, in a normal voice, thank God. "You have fifteen minutes to get ready or I'm leaving without you."

It takes Hongjoong's sleep-addled brain a couple of seconds to understand what is going on. When he does get back online he lets out a curse. Right, shooting, San, Eden, _Seonghwa._

He quickly scurries away to the bathroom, leaving Yunho behind with a string of curses, and takes the fastest shower of his life. He practically falls out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel, desperately opening his wardrobe in search of something worth wearing.

"Are we going outside today?" he calls to Yunho, his memory failing him.

"Yeah!" Yunho calls back. "Streetwear shoot!"

"Right," Hongjoong mutters to himself. He refuses to be one of those people who obsesses over what he's wearing to see their crush (is Seonghwa even his crush? His lover? His _what_?) and decides that, since it's going to be hot, a light blue shirt and light washed jeans is the best option. It's nothing out of this world, but at least the jeans make his ass look great. Because that's a very important point to take into account. Maybe he does care a bit.

He skiddles to the kitchen, catching himself on the counter to avoid colliding with the fridge. "Okay, I'm ready," he pants.

"Are you taking pictures with your mind?" Yunho asks, amused.

"Shit," Hongjoong breathes, running back to his room to grab his camera. He tries not to think about what was going on inside this room at around this time yesterday, and succeeds more or less.

Yunho is waiting for him by the front door, shoes already on as he smiles at his phone. Hongjoong wants to poke fun at him because he's eighty percent sure that's San on the other end, but thinks better of it. Now Yunho has ammo to fire back.

"Okay, now I'm truly ready," he says instead, putting on his shoes and raising his arms up.

"Let's go, then," Yunho pockets his phone and opens the door to let them out.

"Can we stop by a coffee shop or something on our way there? I need caffeine," Hongjoong asks as they get out of the building.

Yunho gives him a look as they walk to the subway station. "Maybe if you'd actually woken up in time…"

Hongjoong huffs. "I didn't hear my alarm."

"That's weird," Yunho muses. "You're usually easy to wake."

"I had trouble falling asleep last night," Hongjoong admits. He'd tossed and turned in his bed, his belly a turmoil of nerves at the thought of seeing Seonghwa again the next day. He doesn't understand why, but he guesses the heart works in mysterious ways.

Yunho coos. "Nervous?"

"A bit, yes," Hongjoong shrugs a shoulder, trying to sound cooler than he feels.

"It'll be fine," Yunho pats his shoulder. "He's probably as nervous as you are."

"Aren't you nervous?" Hongjoong asks as they get inside the subway. "To see San?"

Yunho shrugs. "Not more than usual," he smiles. "I know he likes me, so why should I be?"

"God, I wish that were me," Hongjoong says, half in awe.

Yunho's smile is smug when he says "You'll get there."

Eden is already waiting at the door of the studio when they get there (fortunately on time, thanks Yunho), and starts giving directions as soon as they are within hearing range. Hongjoong really needs caffeine.

"Do you ever sleep?" Hongjoong asks him jokingly as he starts gathering lighting equipment.

"Sometimes when I sneeze I close my eyes," Eden shoots back, and Hongjoong stops dead on his tracks.

"Did- did you just quote a meme?" he asks, dumbfounded. "Yunho! Did you also hear this?!"

"I did!" Yunho chirps from the other side of the studio.

"Jongho was graceful enough to show me some 'to let me in on today's youth speech'," he makes air quotes, looking quite snide.

"How considerate of him," Hongjoong says, placing a mocking hand over his heart. "Helping the elderly."

"Hey! I'm not that much older than you!" Eden calls after him as he loads equipment into the trunk of his van.

"Are we waiting for Jongho and Mingi?" Hongjoong says instead, ignoring the jab.

"They'll meet us there," Eden replies, dropping the issue. He helps him finish loading everything in the trunk and closes after them once Yunho has all his stuff in place too.

"Shotgun!" he calls, dodging Hongjoong and sitting on the passenger seat before he can do anything about it (not that he physically could, but he likes to think so). Any other day he would have chewed his head off for exiling him to the back with the clothes bags, but the nerves in his stomach make it hard to focus, so he lets it slide.

The drive to the shooting location is ridiculously short, so short, in fact, that before Hongjoong has had time to give himself a pep talk to calm his nerves, they are already pulling out and Eden and Yunho start unloading equipment. Things are moving a bit too fast for his liking, but he doesn't think he has any right or position whatsoever to complain. He doesn't have any choice other than to go with it, so he ignores the twisting in his stomach and resigns himself to his fate.

Jongho and Mingi show up a handful of minutes later, and the five of them start setting everything up. Luckily, it's a perfect, sunny August day, and most of the heavy lighting equipment isn't needed, which means they have everything ready relatively fast. They've closed the area and a few people stop by every now and then to look at them. They still have twenty minutes before San is supposed to be here, so Hongjoong takes advantage of the lull and scurries away to get breakfast.

When he returns, happily sipping on his iced coffee, he finds that he either took longer than he thought on his (not exactly) coffee break, or San decided to be extra punctual today. And apparently it's try to kill Hongjoong day because Seonghwa is wearing a fucking sleeveless shirt. It's a good thing he wasn't drinking just now because he'd have choked for sure.

"What the fuck," he mutters to himself. "What the _fuck._ "

He's not awake enough to deal with this, but before he can think better of it and run away, he hears Eden calling for him. A sense of deja vu washes over him, but this time he doesn't feel like he's walking towards an unpleasant memory; it feels like he's walking straight into his inevitable demise.

Hongjoong keeps his eyes sternly fixed on Eden as he (as slowly as he can) makes his way towards the little semicircle that the others have formed around him. He stops beside Yunho, pressing close to him in a silent plea for comfort. Yunho, God bless him, be it either out of familiarity or because he actually understands the telepathic message Hongjoong is sending him, drapes an arm over him immediately. Paradoxically, the weight of it lifts the metaphorical one off of Hongjoong's shoulders.

"Okay, kids," Eden starts, earning himself a groan from everyone. It's crazy how quickly they all have bonded over their dislike of being called kids by Eden. Eden ignores them. "This should be fast. I have an idea of how I want this to look and it's only one outfit again, so I'm counting on you all to have this down before lunch time, okay?"

They all nod. This is the good thing about Eden, he's straightforward and to the point. It's one of the reasons Hongjoong enjoys working for him so much. He gathers Jongho and his camera and they both quickly run through settings as San gets changed and gets his hair and make-up done. Hongjoong risks a glance up and sees him and Yunho talking animatedly, both sporting similar dumb smiles and standing at a distance that walks the line between friendly and intimate. Gross.

Beside them, Wooyoung is crouching by his make-up chest, looking up and saying something to Yeosang, who quickly rolls his eyes and shakes his head, looking as uninterested as ever. Although, Hongjoong thinks, if he pays close attention, he can see fondness behind the indifference. It's subtle, it's well masked, but it's there. Wooyoung must know it too, because he just beams up at him with a high-pitched laugh. Maybe Seonghwa is right, it doesn't have to make sense as long as it works.

And speaking of Seonghwa… he's standing a bit outside of the group, phone pressed to his ear as he speaks to someone who doesn't seem to be any pleasant to speak to, if Hongjoong is to judge by his expression. He has the arm that's not holding the phone crossed against his chest, and Hongjoong once again curses the shirt he's wearing. _Why_ , why is he wearing something like this. He's never worn anything like this in the previous shoots, always appearing perfectly professional in his button-downs. So why this now? It's driving Hongjoong slightly out of his mind.

He doesn't realize he's been staring until Seonghwa catches his eye and his face turns from a scowl to a smile at the speed of light. Hongjoong gawks, awestruck, for a second, before he manages to form something he hopes looks like a genuine smile himself. He waves, a small thing, and Seonghwa's smile grows a bit, making his heart trip in his chest. Pathetic.

He turns to hide his burning face, pretending to say something to Jongho, only to find that Jongho has been stolen by Mingi and Eden, leaving Hongjoong to face his feelings alone. Absolutely not ideal. When he turns back, the source of those feelings has stopped speaking on the phone and is now walking in his direction. Hongjoong hopes his face doesn't reflect the horror he feels.

"Hey," Seonghwa says when he reaches him. He stands at a respectable distance, but still closer than he would have before yesterday.

"Hi," Hongjoong manages to croak out. And then, before he can stop himself. "What's _this_?"

Seonghwa blinks at him for a beat, before he seems to understand that _this_ refers to his clothes.

"Oh," he pulls at his shirt slightly, looking down at it with a small frown. "It's San's. He made me wear it. I don't like it either."

"I didn't say I don't like it," Hongjoong hurries to clarify. Seonghwa's head snaps up to look at him. "It's just… distracting."

"Oh," Seonghwa says again, and to his credit, he has the grace of looking surprised.

"Yeah," Hongjoong has to look away then, cheeks heating up. He doesn't know what to do with his hands so he busies them with fidgeting with his camera that's still hanging from his neck.

"That's nice to know," Seonghwa's voice is light, and when Hongjoong looks back at him, a little, knowing smile is pulling at the corner of his mouth.

"Oh, don't you start," Hongjoong huffs, forgetting his embarrassment.

Seonghwa's smile turns into a smirk. "I'm just saying-"

He never finishes the sentence because Hongjoong steps up to punch him in the chest. He easily deflects the hit, holding onto his hand for a second, looking around briefly before he lets go. Hongjoong can see it in his eyes that he wanted to keep the contact for longer, but that he's not sure this is the place.

"Are you doing anything this afternoon?" Seonghwa asks instead, voice so gentle, and Hongjoong realizes they've gravitated even closer.

"You saw me yesterday," he says with a chuckle, to try and hide the fact that the question made all his insides flutter. "And you're seeing me now."

Seonghwa's smile is impossibly tender when he replies. "And I would never stop seeing you if it were up to me."

God, he can't go around saying stuff like this, not when Hongjoong can't jump him to kiss him senseless. His frustrations might show in his face, because a hand touches his for an instant, so soft he can barely feel it, as if saying he's not alone in this. Life really is unfair.

Seonghwa tilts his head slightly to the side, as if saying _well?_ , and something inside Hongjoong goes very soft.

"Eden is lending us the studio today because Jongho wanted to practice with his camera and asked us to be his models," he explains, blushing a bit. "Yunho is going to dress us up all pretty for him to take pictures of us."

Seonghwa's eyes twinkle as he smiles, making Hongjoong rethink his priorities in life. "That sounds fun."

Hongjoong shrugs one shoulder, going for nonchalant. "It's okay, I guess. It's mostly a lot of sitting around and trying not to laugh."

Seonghwa nods along his words. "Well, you did say you could have easily been a model, so…"

That pulls a snort from Hongjoong, who reaches over to push him with no real force behind it. "Shut up, God, I'm not telling you anything else ever again."

Seonghwa's laugh is quiet and breathy and Hongjoong thinks he quite enjoys hearing it.

"You guys could come too," he finds himself saying. These days, he doesn't seem to have a brain-to-mouth filter anymore. Maybe that's just what Seonghwa does to him. "Only if you want, of course."

"Ah, I don't know," Seonghwa wraps an arm around himself, as if being self-conscious. His hand wraps around his biceps and Hongjoong very pointedly doesn't look at it. "Wouldn't we be intruding?"

Hongjoong shakes his head, both to clear it and to get his point across. "Nah, don't worry. It's always the three of us, I'm sure Jongho will be happy to have some new faces to work with."

Seonghwa smiles, and he's been doing it a lot more lately. Not that Hongjoong is complaining, but he sort of feels unequipped to deal with them. "Okay then, I'll ask the kids if they want to."

_The kids_. Hongjoong's heart squeezes painfully in his chest at the cute name. It makes him think of Seonghwa with babies, which is a dangerous path to let his mind wander down, mostly because his mind tends to insert him in these scenarios. _Calm the fuck down_ , he tells himself. _We're not even a thing, stop imagining stuff._

"Great!" he chirps on the outside, hoping he doesn't sound as manic as he feels. "Tell me if you're coming so Yunho can get more clothes ready."

"Yeah, about that…" Seonghwa says sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. His tongue darts quickly in between his lips, something Hongjoong has noticed he does quite often, an habit that is most distracting. "I realized yesterday that I don't really have your number?"

Hongjoong blinks owlishly at him for exactly three seconds. "We really are a mess, aren't we?"

Seonghwa laughs at that, shrugging. "It could be worse," he says gently. "At least we're speaking to each other now."

"Right," Hongjoong concedes, feeling dumb. He stretches a hand out. "Give me your phone."

He quickly punches his number in Seonghwa's contacts and hands his phone back to him. If he takes a little longer than normal just to stretch the time their fingers brush, well, that's none of anybody's business.

"You better call me," he says, jokingly, just to make Seonghwa laugh again. It's slowly becoming his favorite sound.

"You bet I will," Seonghwa replies with a genial grin. Hongjoong is about to say something else when a third party inserts himself in their conversation.

"Well, are you two done flirting? Can we start?" San asks, draping both arms over their shoulders. Hongjoong looks at him with blushing cheeks, and feels some sort of relief when he sees Seonghwa's are also a pretty pink.

"That's a very bold question for someone who was blatantly flirting not five minutes ago," Seonghwa pokes San's side, making him yelp.

"You should be grateful we kept Eden hyung busy while you blushed like schoolboys," San brutally replies. "Honestly, I liked it more when there was only sexual tension, this is painful to watch."

"Okay, we’re done here,” Hongjoong decides, grabbing San’s arm and bodily dragging him away. “Go fetch me Jongho and we can start.”

“Yes, boss!” San happily jumps and goes in search of the younger. Hongjoong hears Eden somewhere to his right yell _I’m the boss!_ and exchanges a look with Seonghwa that he quickly has to look away from to stop himself from breaking down laughing. He shakes his head as he checks his camera one last time. San can be a handful sometimes, but he can’t deny it’s the most fun Hongjoong has ever had in a shoot before. The pretty agent who is not so subtly checking him out behind him is just a bonus.

* * *

Seonghwa is sure whoever dictates his luck is having a field day watching him try to stop gawking at Hongjoong every few seconds.

When he'd said 'dress us up all pretty', Seonghwa didn't know what he was expecting, but he really wasn't prepared for Hongjoong with his hair ruffled, looking impossibly fluffy while wearing a tank top and jeans. To make matters worse, there's an orange-ish blush on his cheeks, covered by tiny fake freckles. The effect it has on Seonghwa's poor heart is devastating. This is what he gets for bringing Wooyoung to this, really, he brought this on to himself.

He has to admit, though, that if he sets his frustration aside, he's having fun. When Hongjoong had invited them to this, he wasn't confident at all, but he soon realized upon setting foot in the studio that it's difficult to feel out of place in a room with Wooyoung, San and Yunho in their natural habitat.

As soon as they all arrived, Yunho and Wooyoung had assaulted them all with clothes and make-up, San excitedly orbiting around them and giving his opinion on everything even though no one had asked for it.

The result had been better than Seonghwa had expected. It wasn't like his outfit or make-up were anything out of the ordinary, just a white graphic t-shirt and high waisted pants ("With a face like this do we even need to dress him up, he'd pull anything off," Yunho had said, sounding almost sad. Hongjoong had giggled at that and Seonghwa blushed to the tips of his ears), but Wooyoung had done something swoopy with his hair that even he had to admit looked _really good_.

"Don't touch it," Wooyoung slapped the back of his hand as he tried to feel it with his fingers. "It's as precarious as my relationship."

"Pretty stable, then," San chirped from where he was draped over Yunho's lap. Wooyoung simply shrugged with a small smile.

Now Seonghwa is half sitting on a small ladder, the only prop Jongho decided he wanted, and turning this way and that as Jongho gives him cues. He doesn't know how San does it, the knowledge that everyone in the room is staring at him makes Seonghwa's skin crawl with unease. He's never been one for the spotlight, he prefers organizing everything from behind the scenes, but one furtive look at Hongjoong reveals the other is staring with beaming pride at Jongho, so Seonghwa sucks it up and tilts his head, giving the camera a smile that he hopes is not as forced as it feels.

"Thank you, hyung, that's enough," the youngest tells him, giving him a shy smile. Seonghwa has to hand it to Hongjoong, the kid is cute. Seonghwa returns his smile with a genuine one and steps down from the ladder to find some place to sit as Yunho happily trots to take his spot.

A flash of red in the corner of his eye catches his attention, and he turns to his left, where Hongjoong is atop a set of stairs that lead to a sort of elevated loft at the back of the studio. The redhead is sitting with his legs crossed, and smiles brightly at him when their eyes meet, making grabby hands at Seonghwa, who walks towards him with a snort.

"You did well," Hongjoong leans over the edge of the stairs, his nose scrunching slightly. Seonghwa rests his hands by his feet, tilting his head back to meet his eyes. It's an angle he's not used to, but it's sort of exciting.

"I really want to kiss you," he confesses, dumbly but truthfully. Hongjoong's eyes widen as he draws in a sharp breath.

"Then do it," he says, like it's that easy. Seonghwa gives the room a quick look. Everyone else is busy doing their thing. Maybe it is that easy.

Standing on his tiptoes, he brushes his lips against the corner of Hongjoong's mouth, his heart squeezing when the redhead's eyes close before Seonghwa even touches him. Hongjoong makes a little humming sound, and Seonghwa smiles, reading his cue to press a kiss against Hongjoong's lips. A cool hand touches his cheek as Hongjoong's lips slide against his, soft and slow and tender, Seonghwa's eyes closing when Hongjoong sighs into the kiss.

They keep it chaste and sweet, just kissing for the sake of it, to taste each other. Their lips meet easily, a dance born out of familiarity, and it makes something in Seonghwa's chest click in place. Hongjoong's hand slides to his nape, threading his fingers gently through the short hairs there, and Seonghwa hums in approval, feeling as Hongjoong smiles against his lips.

A low whistle makes them part, staring at each other for a moment before Wooyoung's voice breaks the spell. "Hey, you two! Stop swapping spit, you'll mess up your make-up!"

Seonghwa turns his head to find everyone staring at them, but chooses to ignore them in favor of glaring at Wooyoung where he is laying on the couch with his head on Yeosang's lap. When the glaring seems to be ineffective, he moves his stare to Yeosang, who simply shrugs as if to say _what do you want me to do about it._

Seonghwa shakes his head, hearing Hongjoong giggle quietly behind him. The hand on his nape traces small circles on his skin, and Seonghwa feels any annoyance he had building up in him quickly fade away with each stroke of Hongjoong's thumb. With a roll of his eyes, he turns back to him, trying to keep a steady face when he's met with Hongjoong's starry eyes and kiss-red smile.

"Well, that was inopportune," Hongjoong muses, his eyes twinkling with amusement. He doesn't seem bothered at all by the fact that they got interrupted.

Seonghwa breathes out a little laugh. "He's incorrigible," he says, nothing short of fond.

"Mhm," Hongjoong hums absentmindedly. His eyes trail over Seonghwa's face, as if he's trying to convey him to memory. Seonghwa feels heat rise to his cheeks at his gaze. "You look good," Hongjoong seems to decide.

Seonghwa's heart trips in his chest. He doesn't understand the reactions his own body has to Hongjoong; they make no sense, not after everything, but he still finds himself blushing like a schoolboy and having micro heart attacks at the simplest things. It's strange, and exhilarating, and new, and Seonghwa doesn't want it to stop. He wants to keep feeling these butterflies every time he looks at Hongjoong, every time Hongjoong touches him, every time he laughs.

The compliment didn't sound like it was expecting to be reciprocated, but Seonghwa really can't help it when he mutters a "You look stunning" under his breath, watching in fascination as a genuine blush deepens the color in Hongjoong's cheeks. There's a sort of twisted satisfaction in knowing that, at least, he appears to have the same effect on Hongjoong that Hongjoong has on him.

"Sweet talker," Hongjoong chastises, tapping his nose, and Seonghwa has to lean in again to kiss the smile off his lips.

"I said to stop making out!" Wooyoung yells behind him. Seonghwa flips him the bird.

* * *

San's debut as a magazine cover face is a hit.

No one is surprised, not after all the hard work they put into it, the sleepless nights spent editing, the early mornings and endless cups of coffee, so they celebrate the success on a chilly October night.

Eden treats them all to dinner, and one too many shots land them at a crowded club downtown. The loud bass pounds in Seonghwa's head while he follows San to the floor. Hongjoong's hand is firmly clasped in his as the redhead trails behind him, intent not to lose him in the crowd.

They've been… figuring things out for a couple of months now. After the shoots were done and the editing process started, they didn't have any excuse to see each other, but that didn't stop them from pushing their relationship onwards. A handful of dates, one or two social gatherings, and one remarkable one nighter spent editing pictures later, Seonghwa would like to think they're going strong. The amount of Hongjoong's clothes currently residing in Seonghwa's bedroom would probably agree.

They still haven't given a name to this thing between them, and it does bother Seonghwa a bit, but at the moment, he's just happy that things are working out. He's allowing himself to be happy with the little things, like the way Hongjoong presses himself against him as he dances, hair wild and cheeks flushed, smiling up at Seonghwa, pierced tongue peeking out in that way of his that only means danger.

Their club stay is relatively short, their friends hollering and whistling at them when they make to leave. Seonghwa rolls his eyes as Hongjoong throws his head back in laughter, pulling Seonghwa by the hand towards the exit.

There's an ironic sense of deja vu in Seonghwa's chest as they climb into a taxi. But unlike that first night, Hongjoong's head falls on his shoulder, his hand finding Seonghwa's on his lap, and linking their fingers together with a sigh.

Seonghwa presses a kiss to his hair. "Tired?"

Hongjoong hums, shifting his head so that he can nuzzle against Seonghwa's neck. "I feel like I haven't slept properly in a month."

"It's been a stressful few weeks," Seonghwa concedes, reaching with his other hand and combing his fingers through Hongjoong's hair. "But it all paid off, right? Those shots are amazing."

"You're saying this to get in my pants," Hongjoong says, a ghost of a laugh in his voice.

Seonghwa snorts. "Last time I checked, I didn't need to say anything to get in your pants," he teases. It earns him a huff, and that's how he knows he's right.

"Not tonight, though. I'm so tired, I think you're gonna have to carry me to bed," Hongjoong mutters against his shoulder. Seonghwa feels affection course through him.

"I'll survive," he buries his smile on Hongjoong's hair.

He doesn't end up carrying Hongjoong to bed, but he does need to steady him with his hands on his waist as he stumbles his way to Seonghwa's room. They change in a comfortable silence, Seonghwa dragging a barely awake Hongjoong to brush his teeth, laughing when he nearly falls asleep with his mouth full of foam. Hongjoong gives him a tired glare and stomps to the bed.

He's tucked in a blanket burrito when Seonghwa comes into the room, his red hair a stark contrast against Seonghwa's sheets. He scrunches his nose as Seonghwa leans in and presses a kiss to it.

"Make room, you blanket hoard," he says lightly.

Hongjoong groans, but scoots over enough to let Seonghwa lay on the bed and throw an arm around him. He immediately tucks himself under Seonghwa's chin, legs tangling with his, and Seonghwa's heart melts in his chest.

"You're always so warm," Hongjoong mumbles, breath fanning over Seonghwa's neck. Seonghwa hums in response, tracing the line of his spine with a finger, up and down.

Silence falls over them and Seonghwa feels himself start to go under. He's sure Hongjoong has fallen asleep when he speaks again.

"Hey, Hwa?" he calls in a quiet voice.

"Yes, love?" the name slips out of his lips before he can stop it, but Hongjoong doesn't say anything, and Seonghwa doesn't know if it's because he's tired or because he doesn't mind.

"What is this?" Hongjoong asks in that tiny voice. Seonghwa's brain takes a couple of seconds to understand what he's referring to, but when he does, he draws in a deep breath.

"I- I wouldn't know," he says truthfully. Hongjoong sighs.

"I'm not asking to pressure you or anything," he explains. His fingers trace patterns against Seonghwa's chest. "I'm just tired of not knowing what to call you in my head."

"Seonghwa is fine," he replies, his inopportune sense of humor coming out. Luckily for him, Hongjoong snorts. "But yes," he says, trailing his hand up Hongjoong's spine again. "I've thought about it too."

Hongjoong hums pensively. "Would it be okay," he starts, as if testing the waters "if I told people you're my boyfriend?"

"Oh," Seonghwa's heart does a little somersault. He was expecting this, and yet, it still hits him like a sucker punch. "Is that what you want?"

Hongjoong interprets his question for hesitancy instead of awe. "Is it not what you want?"

"No- I mean, yes. I mean- you want to be my boyfriend?!" he asks breathlessly. He moves, reaching up and cupping Hongjoong's cheeks with his hands so that he can see his face. Those bright eyes stare at him full of fondness and amusement.

"Yes, you idiot," Hongjoong says, his nose scrunching when he smiles. His hands come to wrap around Seonghwa's wrists. "That's why I'm asking."

"I-" Seonghwa isn't sure why words are failing him now, all he knows is he's crazy about this redhead with the stars in his eyes that's smiling up at him like this is a joke only the two of them are in on. " _Yes_ ," he breathes, drinking in the way Hongjoong's smile widens and his eyes crinkle at the corners. He leans in, kissing every inch of Hongjoong's face he can land his lips on as Hongjoong laughs.

"Hey! Stop it," he giggles, trying to fight his hands off. Seonghwa holds him more firmly and plants a kiss on his mouth.

"I know it's too early," he says against Hongjoong's lips. "But I think I'm a bit in love with you."

He should probably have thought this over, because it's a hell of a statement to drop on someone out of the blue, but his brain doesn't have the best record of working properly when Hongjoong is involved. He doesn't have time to panic, though, because Hongjoong kisses him back, and Seonghwa can feel him smiling into it.

"That's okay," he whispers. "Cause I think I'm a bit in love with you too."

Seonghwa feels all the air being sucked from out of his lungs, and all he can do is kiss Hongjoong again, pinning him against the pillows and trying to pour everything he can't say into the action. He feels like he's floating and the only thing keeping him from drifting away are Hongjoong's hands in his hair, the drag of his lips against Seonghwa's, his soft, happy noises.

They part, both panting and grinning like idiots, and Seonghwa feels like the final missing piece of their puzzle has clicked into place. Hongjoong looks up at him with the universe in his eyes, the way he's always looked at him, and Seonghwa knows he isn't letting go. He's holding on for as long as this wonderful, stubborn, amazing, talented, adorable man lets him. And he has a feeling Hongjoong is too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi ive youve made it this far, thank you for reading!
> 
> now this is an interest check:
> 
> i have two (2) more works finished within this same universe, both PWP's and not really related to the main story, my question is whether ppl would be interested in reading those. if they were, one would probably go up for halloween (kq i will never forgive you for stealing my thunder with skirt hong) and the other maybe when this fic hits a milestone. 
> 
> i still gotta think about it, but please do tell me your opinion on the comments below 💕✨
> 
> bye!

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/thewintersobber)!


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